This was a question from someone on Quora. I gave my answer here:
https://www.quora.com/What-is-God-accomplishing-in-my-suffering/answer/Hannah-Chau-1
I’ve thought about this topic about 5 till 10 years. I first complained 5 years to Him about how He allowed me to suffer. Then I found out, it was not Him who allowed me to suffer.
There is a research about suffering. 80% of the cause is because human do wrong things to christians. So these christians become victims. God did not wanted it.
My testimony: I got a prophecy from a person and it told me, there would be a danger ahead of me. And that I should be careful. And go do prayer and fasting. The prophecy is send by God to warn me about the danger. So God wants me to dodge and avoid this danger. It’s not His will to allow these things to happen. He wants to prevent it from happening.
I listened and did prayer and fasting. And in the 2nd week the danger appeared in front of me. I was not sharp enough to hear God whom He was talking about. But in my human ability I could do prayer and fasting. So that saved my life. Long story short: Nothing big happened, but it was life threatening enough for me to suffer many more years after it. Nothing big happened, because I was doing prayer and fasting. That allowed God to save my life from physical danger!
But the emotional suffering went on. Did God wanted that? No. He doesn’t want me to have physical danger. That’s why He send a person to warn me and told me how to prevent it. God prevented the worse, but I still got a tiny damage. But even the emotional damage He didn’t want me to have. He send many more people in to encourage and comfort me afterwards.
After many years of suffering from that emotional damage. I figured out, I have not put safety boundaries for myself and allowed any kinds of people into my life, who are not safe. So they did things unto me, which affected my emotional well being.
I don’t think God send you things so you suffer, and then He teaches you something with it. ABSOLUTELY NOT. In the bible, it does say to rejoice when we are suffering for Christ names sake. It means we suffer when we are standing up for the gospel. Does it mean God send those sufferings when we testify for Christ? No. But it was more that Paul was teaching us an attitude to survive these sufferings. So that we are strong enough to move on.
If any other bad things causes you to suffer, that has nothing to do with that you standing up for the gospel of Christ. Then this bible verse is not talking about that. Then another bibleverse is relevant: Every good thing comes from above. It means every bad thing, does NOT come from Him.
And Proverbs even says: A prudent men sees danger and avoids it. We are to gain wisdom and understanding of human/social etiquettes/psychology to skillfully avoid danger and unpleasant things. And some people in our lives are not meant to be kept as close friends, maybe just an acquaintance that you help them (in order to love them, following Gods command), but you don’t have to share your deepest things with these people.
Jesus also just picked 3 people to share His intimate moments with (to pray in the mountain right before He got betrayed), He doesn’t allow all 12 or 70 to be there. It’s a different intimacy He shares with these groups of people. So we are also allowed to keep some people closer and some further. But still help and love both groups. Just what we share about ourselves is at a different level.
When we allow certain people in our lives too close, it can harm us more than doing good. I usually pray this: God close off the wrong doors for me and open the right doors for me (with people).
I also looked up videos from a christian speaker: Henry Cloud talking about boundaries and how to deal with different kinds of emotions/sufferings. I applied those boundaries and my life looks much nicer now. No suffering. I stopped complaining to God about my suffering. Cause I figured out that I can stop those suffering. And that it was never His will for me to suffer.
Hope this helps!
