I was talking with my daughter about music and realised something I thought I’d share: I take my learned experiences for granted and this is a failing of mine because it leads me to judge others harshly.

My wife and I were coming home after a long day out with the girls and the radio was on. Led Zeppelin's, "When the levee breaks" came on and I said to my eldest daughter "this is tata's music", and she said "so this is rock and roll?" Hazel’s words surprised me.

How could she not know Rock music?

Now, don’t get me wrong: I was not disappointed in her, but surprisingly and unfairly, I did notice myself being shocked by her ignorance.

I was shocked for a moment until I began thinking more closely about it. Of course it’s not self-evident, so why be surprised? No one is born knowing how to recognize rock music, or Led Zeppelin, so obviously this knowledge is something I’ve learned also, but the difference is I have come to take my knowledge for granted so much so that it’s surprising to imagine any person having to learn what constitutes ‘rock’ music.

This got me thinking about all the other times in life where I feel superior to another person because I know something they do not, and conversely where I have felt jealous of the strengths others demonstrate, which I lack.

This is perverse, and I am glad my daughter’s question helped me see this in me.

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

In my pride I have behaved as if my knowledge is infalable, while it is not, and worse yet, I have judged others for their failures and errors, which is neither my responsibility nor fair. My behaviour has missed the mark, I have aimed at being loving, kind, gentle, patient, merciful and gracious but I have fallen short. I have missed the mark, Lord forgive me.

My knowledge is imperfect: Let my pride never roar as it may

Her words reminded me of my own exploration of music, when that began and the confusion I felt around identifying musical genre.

I was probably 10-11, in the early nineties, when I first remember someone playing music for me. I recall friends who listened to music would tell me about what they liked, and they would ask me what I liked. This was entirely new to me, and I recall not knowing how to answer.

What do I like? I wasn’t sure. But with time, effort, and patient, friendly encouragement I slowly started learning to distinguish genres and identify my personal preferences.

But this knowledge, that took me so long to acquire, and in truth is still being acquired, somewhere along the lines I had begun to completely take for granted, to assume it was obvious or common knowledge.

Until yesterday when I was listening to my daughter and found myself being shocked that a little girl doesn’t know Led Zeppelin… of course she doesn’t! That was my pride and judgemental nature showing itself.

We learn musical discernment like we learn a second language and my daughter is well ahead of me at her age, but my judgemental mind leapt to a negative when I heard her question, and that is unfair and unwanted.

I am deeply glad that my daughter's words helped me identify this failure in me. Hazel Marie, I will do my best to do better for you, you deserve better.

"You are loved, you are loved, more than you know, I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so..."
-Sleeping at Last, Light

The Lesson I Learned | Thank you Hazel Marie!

The conversation with my daughter reminded me that I hold some knowledge which I take for granted and that was humbling.

I have knowledge which I assume is common but, as in the case of "what is rock music", is actually learned and the broader application of this realisation is twofold:

1. Be humble: My knowledge is limited and I am always learning, so I shouldn't be cocky about the completeness of my own knowledge, because my knowledge is never complete.
2. Be gracious: My daughter, and all people, are daily struggling to learn and grown, what I regard as "simple" or "common" knowledge may be news to Hazel, and I need to be patient, gentle, loving and gracious toward others while they struggle and grow, not judgemental, or proud of my own relative knowledge or strength.

Just as I know somethings that others do not, many more people know full-well what I should but don’t.

I'm Sorry, Hazel | I expect too much sometimes:

My daughter is brilliant, strong, confident and lovely, but she is only four years old. She knows much, and is already further ahead in many respects than I recall being at her young age, but she is still learning, she is not complete and I must be careful with my expectations set upon her. I need to give her space and time to struggle and fail and encouragement to stand-up and try again. Perhaps most importantly, I need to be calm, patient and gracious in her progression because I too struggled in the same ways at one time, just as I too struggle today, albeit in my own specific ways.

Whether she ever learns to accurately identify 'rock' from 'folk' is not the point. The point is that she is learning, and I want to remember my own path and progression before I rush to judgement, impatience or frustration around her difficulty, knowledge or capability.

Hazel thank you for your courage in trying to grow, you are a reminder of my own growth, and an encouragement for me to continue on with that growth.

My Prayer:

Lord, may I be humble enough to remember my own limitations and ignorance, and patient, gentle, loving and gracious with my daughter as she strives and struggles with her own growth and education.

May I be more of that man you call me to be today than yesterday, and tomorrow than today, in Jesus name, amen.