Donald Trump Blasts Late Night Shows

in clip •  6 years ago 


WAS A VERY, VERY UNHASH TAG BLESSED DAY TODAY. FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM HAVE BEEN DOWN SINCE THIS MORNING. YOU Remember THAT SCENE IN "BACK TO THE FUTURE" WHEN MARTY'S FAMILY START THS VANISHING? WHEN INSTAGRAM WENT DOWN, SAME THING HAPPENED TO THE KARDASHIANS. WE LOST ROB SADLY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I WAS FORCE TO THE GO OUTSIDE TO SHOW POLAROIDS OF MY LUNCH TO PEOPLE OUT ON THE STREET. FORTUNATELY FOR OUR PRESIDENT, TWITTER WAS UP AND RUNNING, NO PROBLEM AT ALL. TRUMP WAS TAPPING HIS TINY LITTLE FINGERS TO WEIGH IN ON COMEDY SHOWS. HE WROTE JAY LENO POINTS OUT THAT COMEDY ON THE VERY BORING LATE NIGHT SHOWS IS TOTALLY ONE-SIDED. IT'S TOUGH. FOR ME, UNWATCHABLE. WHAT A SNOWFLAKE, BUT REMEMBER, WE ARE NUMBER ONE, PRESIDENT. ARE WE SURE ENGLISH IS THE FIRST LANGUAGE? BECAUSE WHAT THE PRESIDENT WAS REFERRING TO WAS AN INTERVIEW WITH JAY LENO ON THE "TODAY" SHOW DURING WHICH LENO WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW TALK SHOWS HAVE CHANGED SINCE HE WENT OFF THE AIR. >> WHEN PEOPLE SEE YOU AS ONE-SIDED IT MAKES IT TOUGH. PLUS, I DID IT WHEN, YOU KNOW, CLINTON WAS HORNY AND BUSH WAS DUMB, AND IT WAS A LITTLE EASIER . . >> Jimmy: HE'S RIGHT. It is more difficult. BECAUSE TRUMP IS DUMB AND HORNY AT THE SAME TIME. SO We are currently HAVE TO COVER BOTH THINGS. HERE'S THIS THING. I Hear THIS A LOT. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DONALD TRUMP EVERY NIGHT. Nothing OF US DO. BUT HE GIVES US NO CHOICE. IF HE SAT IN THE WHITE HOUSE ALL DAY QUIETLY WORKING ON THINGS I WOULD ALMOST NEVER MENTION HIM, BECAUSE IT'S NOT INTERESTING. BEFORE THIS MORNING, HIS FORMER CAMPAIGN CHAIRMAN WAS SENTENCED TO PRISON FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A WEEK. HE CALLED HIMSELF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PRESIDENT IN HISTORY AND TWEETED TO LET PEOPLE KNOW HIS WIFE HASN'T BEEN REPLACED WITH A BODY DOUBLE. NOT SUPPOSED TO MENTION THAT. OBAMA WORE MOM JEANS ONE TIME. WE MADE JOKES ABOUT IT FOR SIX STRAIGHT YEARS. HOW ABOUT THIS. YOU STOP BEING TERRIBLE. WE'LL STOP POINTING IT OUT, OKAY? I WILL SAY, I DO HAVE TO SAY I'M FLATTERED HE'S WATCHING, Considering therefore THAT WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A NATIONAL EMERGENCY. ARE THE CARAVANS HERE YET? OR ARE THOSE IS STILL ON THE WAY? >> STILL ON THE WAY. >> Jimmy: MAKE SOME CALLS, WILL YOU, GUILLERMO? AND THIS IDEA THAT ALL THE TALK SHOW HOSTS ARE AGAINST HIM. I GUESS HE HASN'T BEEN WATCHING HIS PRESS SECRETARY'S FATHER, SARAH HUCKABEE'S DAD MIKE HOSTS WHAT MIGHT BE THE FUNNIEST OF ALL. >> ROBIN METCALFE SAYS Formerly A CHICKEN HAS ITS OWN GPS TRACKER, QUOTE, PEOPLE WHO POTENTIALLY WILL BUY THAT CHICKEN WILL KNOW EVERY STEP THAT CHICKEN HAS TAKEN. NOT TO BELITTLE THE NOBLE CHICKEN, BUT I'M SURE THERE ARE HENS ALL ACROSS MIAMERICA SAYIN WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY, WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF CLUCK. >> Jimmy: SEE, NOW THAT'S COMEDY THE WAY IT USED TO BE. THIS MELANIA BODY DOUBLE CONSPIRACY I MENTIONED, SOMETHING'S BEEN MAKING THE ROUNDS ONLINE BECAUSE OF This photo OF THE HAPPY COUPLE. SO THE THEORY IS, WHEN TRUMP WENT TO ALABAMA ON FRIDAY HE WAS ACCOMPANIED BAY BODY DOUBLE INSTEAD OF HIS ACTUAL WIFE. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THIS IS A FAKE MELANIA. THE REAL MELANIA IS LIKE, TRUST ME, I Care IT WAS A FAKE MELANIA. IT WAS NOT. FOR WHATEVER REASON, THIS MADE THE PRESIDENT MAD AND TWEETED, THE FAKE NEWS PHOTO SHOPPED PICTURES OF MELANIA AND PROPELLED CONSPIRACY THEORIES THAT IT'S ACTUALLY NOT HER BY MY SIDE. THEY ARE ONLY GETTING MORE DERANGED WITH TIME, SAYS THE MAN WHO CLAIMS HILLARY CLINTON RUNS A COCKFIGHTING GAME IN THE BASEMENT OF CHUCK E. CHEESE. PAUL MANAFORT WAS SENTENCED FOR WITNESS TAMPERING WHICH BRINGS HIS TOTAL SENTENCE TO SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS. IT'S KIND OF FUNNY, FELICITY HUFFMAN MAY DO MORE TIME. HE SAID I'M SORRY, MS. JACKSON. I'M FOR REAL. APOLOGIZE A TRILLION TIMES. PAUL MANAFORT REALLY PLEADED WITH THE JUDGE. HE SAID I'M 70 YEARS OLD, PLEASE LET ME AND MY WIFE BE TOGETHER. SO SHE THREW HIS WIFE IN PRISON TOO. LESS THAN AN HOUR AFTER THE SENTENCE WAS HAND DOWN, MANAFORT WAS HIT WITH NEW CHARGES. THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY OF MANHATTAN UNSEALED A 16 -COUNT INDICTMENT THAT COULD PUT HIM BEHIND BARS FOR CRIMES THAT.

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