How to Deal With Overbearing Colleagues

in colleage •  7 years ago 

When dealing with overbearing colleagues, you have two basic options: assertiveness or acceptance. If your coworker is bossy and knows it, exercising your assertiveness is the only way to get her to stop. While it might be uncomfortable to confront your colleague at first, the eventual outcome -- getting her to be less overbearing -- will be worth the effort.

  1. Stand up when an overbearing colleague approaches you. Do not allow the person to tower over you. Standing up puts you on a more level playing field.

  2. Ask thoughtful and challenging questions about whatever topic the overbearing coworker presents to you. This shows you're not willing to accept or agree to everything he says to you. This is appropriate in one-on-one or group situations, such as business meetings.

  1. Create a boundary with your words, which allows the bossy colleague to witness your assertiveness. For example, say, "Thanks for your advice, but I already have decided how I want to handle it." Or you can say, "I have everything under control, thanks."

  2. Stop a colleague who wants to dominate the conversation or meeting with her own idea. Give her credit for her idea, but state that you also have a good idea worth considering. Then, state your idea with confidence.

  3. Tell an employee, who you think is oblivious to her overbearing tendencies, how her behavior offends you. Deliver your message in a polite and professional way, in a private setting. Say something like, "I'm certain you don't mean to come across as bossy, but the other day in the meeting, you acted as if your idea was the only one that made any sense. There were several of us that had equally valid ideas, but it seemed that you only were interested in seeing yours advanced."

Tip
Ask yourself if it's possible that your feelings toward the person you find overbearing are colored by your own jealousy or resentment. It's important to be objective. Also, check with other co-workers to gauge their impression of the colleague.
Warning
Avoid complaining to your boss about an overbearing colleague. This can backfire and make you look like someone who doesn't know how to handle work conflicts. Instead, handle the situation on your own and strive to showcase your abilities to your boss through your own profe11.jpg

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