Poor Choices, with your host, Balls Capone (Episode 1)

in comedy •  7 years ago 

Poor Choices, with your host, Balls Capone:

Today's Memory: Lunch with Mewy

I was just thinking back to the time I decided to try a can of cat food. I was feeding my old cat, Mewy and when I opened that can of chunks and gravy, the heavenly smell that came out made my mouth water. I pulled back the lid and stared curiously down into the can full of brown chunks and slimy looking brown paste, it sure didn't look very good. But that smell, it was just so wonderful! Then and there I made the decision, I had to give it a shot, I mean, how bad could it actually be? What if I really dig it? I could have some new cheap sandwich filler! So I grabbed a spoon and dished myself out a spoonful of hearty chunks and gravy. Mewy looked up at me with a look like "Not really, right?", oh, yes, young Mewy, really. I took the bite and slid the spoon out of my mouth and as soon as that "gravy" hit my tongue, I knew I had made a brutal mistake. I started chewing, It was terrible, it tasted nothing like the smell at all. The meat had the consistency of pencil erasers, the gravy was like taking a nice big swig of vitamin enriched urine (a story for another time), and it was just bland as bland could be. Hearty chunks and gravy my ass! More like Rubber and Urine! "How can you eat this shit, Mewy?", I exclaimed loudly as I felt some chunks of my own heading up my esophagus. Mewy just looked up at me and mewed in anger, I was taking too long to feed him as I was hoarking in the sink. I rinsed my mouth out and watched in amazement as Mewy took the rest of the can down in a matter of seconds. It took hours to get that rubbery vitamin paste taste out of my mouth. And that's the last time I ever tried cat food.

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The largest cat breed is the Ragdoll. Male Ragdolls weigh between 12 and 20 lbs (5.4-9.0 k). Females weigh between 10 and 15 lbs (4.5-6.8 k).

I have a Bengal, his name is Steve. Steve is soft and delightful.