Today's Memory: Red Wine and Skoal.
Summer 2005, I was living in Denali National Park working as an IT Tech. I lived in a little place out in the woods, it was nice compared to most of the other conditions. I would usually buy wine and beer to keep at the place, as the bars were super duper expensive and it was easy to blow nearly your entire paycheck there in one night. Another thing that was super expensive was smokes and I was a damn chimney back in those days. I would often run out due to the fact that they were $7 - $8 a pack, so I kept an emergency can of Skoal on hand just in case the situation got dire. Well, after a particularly hard day at the old IT office I headed home for a nalgene of red wine and a smoke. Damn, I was out of smokes and pay day wasn't for another 2 days. So I tried to ignore the craving and just set down to enjoy my wine. It only made matters worse though, as I got more buzzed, the more I wanted a smoke. So I set out to find one to bum, I found a willing person and that offset the craving for about a half hour. Then it started to rain, really rain. So everyone headed inside and back to their rooms. So, by this time I'm finally drunk enough to give the skoal a try, I mean, how bad could it be, right?
It tasted terrible with the wine, but I sat there anyway drinking my wine not knowing that the stuff I'm supposed to be spitting out I was totally swallowing with the wine. The two together in my stomach was breeding something foul and evil, suddenly this horrible urge to barf hits me and I spring out the door, but drunkenly I stumble and fall down the stairs where I let out the first volley of what looked like black blood. Now with it all over my face and on my clothes, I picked myself back up and ran for cover behind a nearby cabin, only to find two rather attractive co-workers walking back from the store. I couldn't hold it........here's this big freaky bearded bastard with barf on his face, reeling around, then I started blowing like a fountain. They ran in disgust and revolt, boy was I embarrassed. It's no wonder I never got laid up there. I went back, got cleaned up, and promised myself no more skoal ever again, ever. And I've kept that promise!
