TWAD: You know you want it

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Who doesn't crave a delicious, savory TWAD once in a while? We all eat TWAD, at least once in a while. It's no wonder, considering TWAD is constantly on parade in our society these days. Everywhere we look big, jiggling, succulent TWAD.

We are surrounded by TWAD. It's advertised on every TV channel. It's plastered on roadside billboards and splashed across magazine covers. In fact, eating TWAD is even encouraged in our schools and churches. (Kids everywhere are eating TWAD.)

There may be a misconception that more men than women prefer TWAD, but that's simply not true. Ladies love a good meaty TWAD in their face just as much as the next fellow (especially after a long, hard day of work). Mothers place their TWAD upon silver platters and present it to their families every day of the week. Teen girls eat TWAD together in public. Heck, your grandmother probably even likes TWAD. And I'll let you in on a dirty little secret.
_{I eat TWAD too, especially when it's aromatic.}

Show me one man, woman or child this side of Constantinople who doesn't know what it's like to eat the TWAD, and I'll show you a liar. TWAD is our constant companion. Our minds, bodies and mouths demand more TWAD. TWAD is lip-smackingly, undeniably tempting. Make no mistake about it:

TWAD is life!

_{Okay, enternamehere. Hardy har har. What is TWAD?
So glad you asked. TWAD is the result of a silly acronym mix-up. It stands for Typical Western American Diet. It is a very distant and largely unknown relative of SAD, or Stereotypical American Diet.
TWAD was birthed from a conversation about nutrition and physical fitness @jschindler and I had not too long ago. This is a classic example of a sullied acronym, not an entirely uncommon occurrence in our conversations...}

I nominate @wizardofcheeze and @arseniclullaby to make us laugh.

Thanks to all the fantastic #comedyopenmic judges, sponsors and participants. And thank you so much for reading, this is my first stab a humor post (I usually talk about art projects, poetry and food). I had immense fun writing this silly piece. This is also my first time wandering around in #comedyopenmic, for which I have @sandrina.life to thank - generously!

^{^^This wicked cool voxel art is by fabiyamada^^}

Mmmmm, but Wendy's tastes so greezy good.

Everyone has their favorite version of TWAD...

I'm not wrong when I say americans either eat corn-based x and pizza/burgers.

Or are on the complete other end of the spectrum and eat home-grown, gluten-free, free-range/vegan x

There are some people who fall in the middle of the spectrum and eat everything (good, bad and ugly), but for the most part, you said it. Either all junk or all-in natural/organic.

Thanks for stopping by!

Honey... Let's go out tonight.

Oh just give me TWAD.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Twad

Now that's rich! Thank you for the chuckle.

Yeaaaaaaaah! So glad you did it! This is a great funny entry :D
Excuse me, I'm gonna make myself a TWAD!

Can I watch?! Give you some pointers? I'm a TWAD expert, you know.

as you and @ddschteinn have been writing about food, I made a serious entry. Too serious.
Oh, I have been too close to +70 years old people last 3 weeks!

Oh, no. It is not too serious, it is al dente ma'am. That is to say, just right. I interrupted my comment on that post to reply to this comment.

I will take 1 TWAD please.

To go..

Ya want cheese on that TWAD?

Wow, I'm so behind, I can see myself from the back, again...but I suppose late is better than never.
Got a real chuckle out of your TWADisms. You and JS must have enjoyed that conversation. Butchering acronyms can be fun. I had all SORTS of thoughts about what you were referring to, and wasn't even close. Clean it up, dd, clean it up. Thanks for the chortles, hope it went well on the site.

Oh that's good to hear because you've given me more grinning and happy head shaking than I can keep track of. Yes the TWAD mix up was classic. Glad I could share our silliness, it seemed to make a few folks laugh :•)

Thank you Herr Schteinn!

excellent content, I like your geneility

That's good of you to say, glad you enjoyed the read. Thank you.

Comedy Open Mic - Week 18 | Dawdling with the TWAD

TWAD: You know you want it

TWAD is life!

I nominate @wizardofcheeze and @arseniclullaby to make us laugh.