Comedyopenmic 35 Second Entry: Complete Waste of Time

As he opened his eyes, he found himself stood upright; oblivious to how he got there with a mind ravaged by hordes of questions. A bright beam of light that seems to call out to him appeared in the distance. He looked down and found himself to be stark naked, with the clouds right under his feet and blank skin at the area where his penis should be.

Suddenly, a faint voice from towards the light called out his name, he looked forward and began to walk towards it, unaware of what lies in wait, where he is or where he's going.

After walking for what felt like five days, he encountered a fellow sojourner like himself. Wary of how long he'd traveled, the traveler sat on the cloud in dismay. "Hi there" he said to the wary traveler, "please do you know where we are?". The traveler looked at him in disbelief a he'd not met anyone else in what has felt like years then retorted " It could be heaven, it could be hell, we neither hunger, thirst, grow old nor get tired. Our dicks are gone and the bright light can't be reached." He picked himself up and continued his sojourn to the beam of light, absolutely determined to reach his target.

His journey to the bright light continued, the thought of never getting hungry, thirsty and living forever made him feel happy. His legs never seemed to hurt, there was no dirt on the ground, the weather seemed to be perfect, there was no sweat on his body. He walked briskly, humming the tune of "walking away by Craig David".

After walking for another protracted period, he encountered another being slumped on way side to the bright light. "Excuse me sir, I'm heading towards that bright light on the horizon, is this the right way?" He asked. The being looked up at him, with worry lines and trembling and said "It could be heaven, it could be hell, we neither hunger, thirst, grow old nor get tired. Our dicks are gone and the bright light can't be reached". The message sounded familiar, like he'd heard something of that nature before, it really has been that long, he thought to himself as he nodded and continued his walk to the bright light shining in the distant.

Time went on and he continued his trip to the light that kept shining in the distance. He didn't feel tired, only the mental agony of continuously walking for what must be years now. Weakened by the mental torture of walking for this long, he slumped down and began to cry but the tears didn't come out. He sat there pondering on how he'd leave this place. As he sat there, the only words that reverberated in his mind were "It could be heaven, it could be hell, we neither hunger, thirst, grow old nor get tired. Our dicks are gone and the bright light can't be reached" and just at the point when he was about to give up, he saw a figure walking in the opposite direction of the light, as it came closer, it looked like a man; the man was naked and his dick was present. He beckoned the attention of the man passing by and said, "why do you have a dick, please answer me sir?" The stranger shrugged his shoulder and said "The light takes our balls away". A moment of relief for the wary traveler, at least he go his dick back, the good news is he's come a long way, the bad news is he went the wrong way.

I nominate @trumpman and @nairadaddy to make entries for this weeke's contest.