RE: The grass is greener on the other side! A dating dilemma…

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The grass is greener on the other side! A dating dilemma…

in commonthreads •  7 years ago 

Hello, I'm a dating and relationship coach, and here are my opinions based on working with thousands of people over the years.

The reason that modern dating is so difficult and so many people is because of several factors.

1.) Many people head into dating with unrealistic expectations.

You can blame this on Disney, their parents, or whatever... but so many people have unrealistic expectations about love, relationships, and their potential partner.

They may believe that their partner should "complete them," or that love should always be easy and problem-free, or they shouldn't have to put in any effort, or anything in between.

And this causes people to give up before things get too serious. In other words, they give up before they actually get to give the relationship a fair shake.

2.) Too many people are emotionally unavailable these days.

Blame it smart phones, social media addiction, or short attention spans, but too many people are not emotionally equipped to have a relationship.

They may be afraid of commitment and the responsibility it involves. They may be afraid of how they think their life may change if they are married or in a relationship...

...And this fear causes them to pull away, look for reasons why things won't work out, or otherwise, pull the plug.

This causes people to idealize perfection and brush anyone off if they aren't perfect.

(Spoiler alert: no one is perfect...)

Is it any wonder that so many people end up breaking up or doing a vanishing act on you in the dating world?

There may be a lot of issues with the arranged marriage model (and truthfully, I have almost no direct experience with it), but there is one big virtue I can think of...

...I causes both people to enter the relationship looking for why the relationship must work out rather than reason to run screaming toward the escape exit.

One major thing I've noticed in helping people with relationships is that the people who are "all the way in" are much more likely to succeed at having a great relationship than the people who are only half-hearted or only so-so committed to the relationship.

I hope this answers your question.

-Clay Andrews

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Hi Clay,
I am very happy to hear your assessment from your experience as a relationship coach. Thank you for visiting my post and writing your opinion. I am sure a lot of people could benefit from such discussions :)

So good analysis!!!