I'm feeling generous, and I want to laugh.
So here's the deal. Tell me your best joke.
The comment here with the most votes get a 3week delegation of 150SP from me personally.
The joke can be any type from 1 liner, pun or story. No extremely racist jokes.
Its as simple as that, get to it and have some fun!!
Cryptocurrency are a soap bank
And other joke
Bitcoin will never be worth more than $ 10 00
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An awkward looking unemployed man with messy hair, missing teeth, dirty clothes, and a terrible speech impediment walks up to the sales manager of a tooth brush company and says " I can sell tooth brushes. I can sell more tooth brushes than any person in your company!" The sales manager looks at him in disbelief and tells him to leave.
Persistently the unemployed awkward man insists, "Please please give me a shot. I'm the best tooth brush salesman in the world! "
So the sales manager gets frustrated and he tells the man he will give him 100 toothbrushes and if he sells any he can come back and get paid.
"Thank thank you thank thank thank you" says the man.
About 45 minutes later the man comes back to the sales manager and asks for more tooth brushes. " I sold sold all them der toothbrushes!"
The sales manager is absolutely shocked. No one has ever sold that many toothbrushes in less than an hour. The sales manager is eager to sell more so he gives him 250 toothbrushes this time.
30 minutes later the man returns and says, "Sold sold sold em all."
Now the sales manager can't believe what he is witnessing and asks the man. "How in the world are you selling so many toothbrushes? You have sold more than our top salesman."
The man replies, let me tell ya. . "First off I go down to the beach where there is a lot of peoples all all all over the place. Next, I put out a table and and and a sign that says FREE CHIPS N DIP . . . .People walk up and say ooooh free chips and dip. So they grab a chip, stick it in the dip and take a bite. . .Then they're like OOOOOOHH this tastes like SHIT. . .And I tell them. . .IT IS, you wanna buy a toothbrush!? "
(One of my favorite jokes. It's best to tell it in person so you can really give it some flavor.)
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I love this contest. I do not have any good jokes but just wanted to say this was a good idea. I do however have to say that that picture above, even though I have seen it a million times, freaks me out.
I shall tell you a funny story though. Many many years ago there was this guy and he got really drunk. He went in to take a leak in the bathroom of a friends house. After about 20 minutes I went to go check on him and he was sitting beside the tub with a bump about the size of a golfball sticking up on the top of his forehead. I asked him what happened. He told me this "I was peeing and I looked down and I noticed the tub coming closer and closer and closer and that was it". Thought you might enjoy that. True story by the ways.
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You've been in the bathroom with me when I was drunk?? Sadly that story is WAYYY too familiar.
Thanks mate, still funny nonetheless :)
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Don't buy ripple, it will rip you off. Sorry, that wasn't a joke. I'm serious.
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I have ripple. I know I’m ashamed.
But I have bts. Steem eos. Also ?
Hilarious. ? Okay. Maybe not.
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I remember how they hype that 3 days count down. The most cruel hype ever made in crypto history. Haha just hold that Bitshares and Eos, it will be a fortune some day.
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A man went to book shop and asked are there any books on subject "how to dominate a woman"
Sales boy replied sorry sir we don't sell fiction books.
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haha thats hilarious. sad that its true though!!
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In China, there are no problems with all those forks that we are hearing about. They are eating with chopsticks
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When Wendy would brag with her friends that Woody could keep logging all night, nobody imagined that she wasn't actually referring to his "prowess" in bed...
Source
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Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”
Man: “I had to get to work.”
Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”
Man: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.
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Why couldn’t Fred swim?
Because he was a brick!
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In the jungle , monkey lights up a big fat joint and while enjoying the tranquility of the moment, the lizzard passes by. "Hey monkey" says the lizzard ,"whaz up", "Hey liz! Come join the joint". So the lizzard takes a couple of good ones , and feels a bit dizzy and a LOT thirsty. "Hey monk, im wasted! Im going to the lake to get a zip."
So the lizzard reaches the soar and there is the crocodile. "Hey liz, whaz up?"
"Oh man, im wasted! The monkey shared that fat joint and ibarely crawled my self here."
"Really?!" said the croc. "Im going to check it out."
Few minutes later, the crocodile finds the monkey with the joint hanging on his mouth.
"Whaz up monk!"
The monkey opens his eyes wide and with a tremple voice he says: "What the fuck liz, you drink the whole lake ?"
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A man went for shopping at a mall, he saw a bull dog lying beside a boy at the entrance of the mall. He said, son, does your dog bite? The boy said no! He started playing with the dog until the dog bit off his whole fist, the man said; but you said your dog does not bite? The boy said that is not my dog! ...lol...
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