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Spam is an art. And so is responding to spam. How do you slap the spammer? How do you show them how it's done?
@diebitch and @nobyeni are looking for the best slap-the-spam comment there is.
The Rules
- Write a response to the spam-comment in the comment section below.
- Resteem & upvote this contest
- Deadline: 19th of February 2018.
The judging
@diebitch and @nobyeni will be the judges. We will be looking at the following criteria for each slap-the-spammer-comment:
- Originality
- Educational merits
- Effectiveness
- Engagement
The Prizes
1 SBD for the best slap.
The Spam
Please comment on the spam-comment below. And make sure you're doing a better job than the reply already there.
The best slap-the-spam comment wins!
ps. This is not a prize for spam comments. To become the best spammer you can be, please first read the spam tutorial.
pss. Comments from those who have resteemed will be upvoted, so we can keep track of who is part of the contest. Higher or lower upvotes from jury members does not indicate success.
I never respond to spammers. But if I did, I would probably go in the direction of sarcasm....
My dear Blank40. I was so enthralled with your comment that for a moment I found myself speechless. Did you come up with that all by yourself? How delightfully insightful!
What is your secret? Perhaps you've been studying some of the great poets who are known for their ability to communicate immense ideas in just a few words.
In fact, I'd like to examine this further, for the deep, and profound truths that are embedded in your minimalist comment bear further examination.
When you said "like," I could only assume you meant "similar to." And yet, upon deeper reflection, I find myself pondering. Could you have meant something else? I paced my house late into the night, in fact, fixated on this one thing. Perhaps you meant, "So," or "Hello there." Is it possible you meant nothing by that at all? Perish the thought!
Moving on to "wery," I was amazed anew! This could mean so many things. It's like a little phonetic puzzle. I suppose it's possible that you are an India native, and wrote this word as you might pronounce it. A dictionary gave me an additional clue, explaining that "wery" is simply "eye dialect" for the word "very." So THANK you. I've learning something new today!
And finally, let's look at "good post." This little aphorism took my breath away. Your brevity is remarkable. I'm truly enthralled by your ability to communicate this incredibly deep thought so succinctly. Kudos, my friend.
Oh, and thank you for the link. Shameless self-promotion is always highly valued, and putting your completely unrelated link in a comment on my post of course means I will immediately go visit, upvote, and resteem your wonderful content. And naturally, I will follow you and suggest all of my friends do the same. I can't wait to see what you will come up with next!
Brilliant... just brilliant. If only I could learn to do what you do.
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Or, alternatively:
NOTICE TO CHATTER: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. VIOLATION: Spamming unrelated or uninformed comments. IMPORTANT WARNING: If you think this chat session was logged in error, please state your reasons to the F.B.I. agent currently monitoring this chat and quote the reference number #2334531343. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will result in your IP and address being entered into our criminal data base and legal action.
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That's why spammers always use public internet instead of their own.
Wait "2 Minutes?!" That's just unfair.
Can't stop Loling
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It's gold if you can find someone naive enough to both believe and deserve it.
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Here comes my entry:
Spam comments like this are frowned upon and more likely than not to be counterproductive. If you were a new member, I'd cut you some slack and assume you didn't know any better but with a rep of 40, that's not going to happen.
The least you could do, other than comment with something resembling correct English ("very" would be a good start), is actually read the post and say something intelligent about it so we all know you did more than scroll to the bottom to litter the comment thread with spam.
That's assuming you're capable of saying something intelligent of course...
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Take a moment away from commenting and go to your comments and see the rewards. Do you see all the 0.01 upvotes? By the time they are going to be a reward they are worth zero! You are not only wasting my time but also your own.
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OK Checkov......
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Take your hands off of your keyboard for a few seconds and allow your brain some time to create coherent thoughts. Got it? Spamming suddenly seems less interesting when you have something of value to contribute. If you complete these tasks with an idea of value, congratulations! Now put that idea into words and share it with the world. If you don't successfully complete this regiment, keep your spam thoughts to yourself.
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My response:
If you think piggybacking my posts will increase your visibility you need to go back to the drawing board.
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Hey Meathead! SPAM is something you eat, not something you say! And even then, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth...
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You see... Spamming is a lot like diarrhea. Profusely messy, gets everywhere, and it just doesn't feel as good. Please don't leave spam comments.
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Sounds like you are saying that my post is not REALLY a good post but it is just LIKE a good post. In that case all I have to say is “like, very good comment”
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Well, my response depends on the person so not having a username makes it harder to make... But for the sake of the contest here's a template below
There will also be prizes for the recurring spammers.
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Thanks, but no thanks.
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Yeah.....I like too.
That's why I made the post.
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My response;
'I bet you say that to all the boys'
Effective & there's no point wasting too much time on spam.
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My entry:
Thank you for liking my post, but it would be much more productive and meaningful for me if you could mention what you specifically liked about it? I hope the reason you didn't come up with something specific wasn't that you didn't have the time or energy to read my post and were left with the only option of resorting to some empty words!!
It would be nice if you could take out some time to actually read the post and say something relevant and helpful next time so I could do the same with your posts and content :)
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What I would do is this:
-Look up where the spammer lives
-Look up what's the name of the secret service there
Then reply something along the lines of:
Good luck explaining this to the FSB, %[name]%
Or:
удачи, объясняя это к ФСБ, %[name]%
(and hope that the google translation is sloppy as well)
Now since he probably didn't understand your article, he'll realize that he made a huge mistake by randomly commenting and will never do it again :)
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