Dead Poems, Round 10, Contest and Community Building

in contest •  6 years ago  (edited)

Dead Poems, Round 10

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Sorry guys, it has been a busy, busy weekend for me and I am little behind with posting and #poetryweekend, but I will get a catch-up in tomorrow. In meantime, it is time to go back into you steemit library and resurrect a poem from the block chain.

The Rules

  • Upvote and re-esteem this post.
  • The post must be at least a week old.
  • Vote for 1-3 other entries in the comment section. Do NOT upvote the original post. That is a wasted vote. Upvote the comment here.
  • I will choose from among the poets/poems that received the most votes and best quality comments and gave the best comments and did their diligent best to upvote 1-3 other entries.
  • Depending on the size of the payout, I try to reward as many people as possible.
  • Poems only, all forms of poetry welcomed.
  • Don't vote for yourself

Last week's post received a liquid payout of roughly 0.35. The following participants will each received 0.06 SBD.

@quillfire
@momzillanc
@corderosiete
@zeleiracordero
@lanniebrockstein
@marlyncabrera

Good luck, everyone:)

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Greetings to all I love this contest. I don't want to be counted in the pool prize I just want to jump in and play. So for your enjoyment only here is my contribution https://steemit.com/poetry/@rensoul17/poem-moving-as-i-touch

@rensoul17,

I think you should have entitled the poem, "Introspecting." It's amazing what you can discover about yourself if you take the time to look.

An interesting read and wonderful artwork (it complimented the poem).

Quill.

Thank you so much for reading my poem @quillfire

Will lead me to the expanse beyond the
Fabric of Earth’s corridors
To the parallel dimensions of more…
Yet in the meantime
Transformation is knocking at my door

Loved this piece. It's expamsive nature is a balm to the psyche:) Fantastic:)

Your poem, to me, is an expansive reiteration of the existential “I think, therefore I am” declaration. The punctuation of single word lines like “what” and “gone” and “finally,” help drive the poem toward the self revelation of existence.

I have my eye on this dead poems contest. The main thing that I noticed is the traffic in the comment section which makes for an awesome community, and I commend all of you for your support of this contest because I love community. What I would like to see is a higher reward for all participants that would match the richness of what @prydefoltz has given birth to. Therefore I am giving to the reward pool the following, 0.893 Steem and 1.000 SBD. Much success to all participants.

Thank you, Rensoul. The contribution is greatly appreciated:) It makes a big difference:)

Oh, the pain of it. but so much pleasure for that pain. Oh, your words are woven so skillfully.

Thank you, Denise:) Much appreciated:)

Great poem, @prydefoltz... "spirit’s milk teeth" is a powerful image about the transition from the childness of the soul to it plenty age... Generally, this change requires some dosis of suffering and detachment... "Relinquishing my bite… beautiful dreams become" if we learn not pay pain by pain... ;-)

Thank you, yomismosoy:) Everyday we become more and more:)

The pleasure, the pain and the renunciation elements that are mixed in this poem, with a great metaphorical load ...

Thank you, Oscarina:)

Your imagery is evocative and telling. It’s a poem of loss and pain and anger, but also of letting go while holding close the good times and happy memories.

You got it. Thank you, Denise:)

relinquish skin -
leave for untouched
milk of too
early kiss

Thank you, Bacus:)

Poem of an extraordinary metaphorical charge. Talk about changes, life cycles of preparation for other stages, perhaps not as sweet and innocent as those experienced.

A learning experience, for sure:) Thank you, Zeleira:)

@prydefoltz,

First of all, Pryde, I can't imagine you having lock-jaw ... that would infer having nothing to say.

And secondly, if it really means that much ... I'll come back ... I didn't realize how much I meant to you.

Quill. :-)

Thank you, Quill. The strains of Carly Simon ... this was written a few years back ... I recovered:)

@prydefoltz,

No you haven't. I'll come back.

Quill. :-)

I admire your persistence:)

Is it really a "dead poem" if it makes the reader to feel alive again?

Lovers of th'English language!

I hereby post for your reading and listening pleasure my "Trembling Streams" sonnet, which I composed in iambic pentameter.

Included is its literary video that I made and which features myself singing the first nine lines of its lyrics whilst playing my 1950s acoustic guitar.

Video - Lannie Brockstein - Trembling Streams - 06 - snap photo - 02.png

Great sonnet, @lanniebrockstein! I think it's a tribute to the golden age of the english language ;-)

Thank you. Methinks, though, that the same way in which organic sprouted whole food ingredients and nutraceutical medicines hath returned, after having been largely unavailable (and to the detriment of us all) during the 20th century, that metrical poetry is also returning—and that its return to popularity will probably coincide with the legalization of cannabis for recreational use, from its having been unjustly prohibited for most of the 20th century.

As might a sailing bird anchor its twirl

For flits of movement in the morning mist,

As would a nymph’s enchanted ballet swirl

And softly spring along leaves where we kissed

We skillful and sublime penning, Lannie:0

Thank you, Pryde. I hope that someday I may read and hear what your own accentual-syllabic verse is like.

I do have some more structured rhyming pieces in the back catalogue but I prefer to play with expectations and whimsy. I was more interested in that kind of thing when I I first started writing ... it has been done a lot and very well by poets no longer with us. I am not sure I have much to add to the style. But you do do it well. Have you considered breaking loose a little and playing with structure and experimentation?

Your imagery is majestic. Your so adept at this form the poem could almost be penned by the immortal bard himself.

Thank you @momzillanc, for your very kind compliment.

The same way that the camera doth imitate th’human eye, iambic pentameter doth imitate th’human heart—especially when its beats are elevated—that’s why Poetry is generally defined in every reputable dictionary as “the elevated use of language”.

I respect that your heart is not fond of Shakespeare’s iambic pentameter, however, I hope that you will give your own iambic pentameter a second chance.

I hope to hear you sing each of the different meters of your heart.

I might explore iambic pentameter someday, maybe. That’s a BIG “maybe.” :D

However, I won’t be singing much of anything any time soon. Even leaves me wracked with coughing. Conversing exhausts me. The coughing leaves me weak and wrung out. See, I’m still recovering from a medical crisis. I got sick back in March and got steadily worse. I was hospitalized in May for a week for extreme respiratory distress from a pulmonary embolism that has caused pulmonary hypertension, and for a dangerous iron deficiency and low blood count (likely due to my body not properly replenishing blood properly because my iron count was 4 instead of the normal 15.5 – I had to have a 350ml transfusion and three iron infusions, and still need couple of infusions in the coming months).

I'm sorry to hear that, @momzillanc. I see you've been struggling. May your health be restored soon ♥

John Keats, whom is one of my favourite poets, did also suffer from the same kind of very debilitating symptoms as those that you did describe. As he lived hundreds of years ago, he did not have access to the vast array of nutraceutical medicines from around the world that are nowadays sold in North American and online health food stores, such as serrapeptase, nattokinase, beef bone broth, and vegetarian iron supplements.

“Serrapeptase” is an enzyme produced by a probiotic bacteria that lives in the digestive system of newly emerging butterflies. The serrapeptase enzyme in their saliva is what dissolves their cocoon. When humans regularly use a serrapeptase supplement (in conjunction with a non-junk food ingredients diet—and not when using a pharmaceutical blood-thinner or pharmaceutical product that has blood-thinning as a side-effect), it gently and safely dissolves any non-living organic matter, such as arterial plaque, blood clots, cysts, mucus, and fibrin.

This serrapeptase website has more information: http://www.serrapeptase.org/serrapeptase-research/what-is-serrapeptase/

If you are not familiar with nutraceutical medicine and organic whole food ingredients, and are only familiar with pharmaceutical medicine and junk-food ingredients, then I hope that you will consult with a naturopathic doctor because asking a pharmaceutical doctor about a nutraceutical medicine and real food is like asking an oil company salesman about solar panels—they'll typically use the anti-competitive practice of FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt) to dissuade you from using it.

Eventually, each person that is living in a polluted industrial city must decide between living the lifestyle of using whole-food ingredients and nutraceutical medicine or dying from using junk-food ingredients and pharmaceutical medicine.

May you teach yourself how to prevent and treat those symptoms, and may you learn from others how to do so, too.

I appreciate you sharing that information. I am familiar with and a believer in healthy food over pharmaceutical intervention whenever possible. Sometimes, it’s just not enough.

Actually, I’ve always been mildly anemic. Natural remedies helped me maintain my iron levels until a couple of years ago. A couple of years ago, I was rushed to the hospital because I was disoriented and very weak. They found that I had very low iron (about half the norm) and a mildly low blood count, plus low magnesium and potassium levels. I chose to use natural and dietary remedies. This did raise my iron levels, but my iron retention did not improve, though my magnesium and potassium levels normalized. I continued to feel fatigued all the time for the past two years. The PE and PHP are new and separate issues from the anemia and low blood counts, and were more immediately life threatening. What sent me to the hospital was the PE and PHP with severe respiratory distress, plus a wracking cough that caused pain and tightness across my chest and back, and caused throbbing pain in my head when I coughed. If I hadn’t gone for the respiratory issues, the iron deficiency and low blood count wouldn’t have been treated.

When the condition was discovered two years ago, the insurance company wouldn’t approve payment to a hematologist. The insurance ultimately forced me into a life-threatening condition and hospitalization because they wouldn’t agree to the doctor prescribed treatment two years ago. The insurance company forced me to live for two years in a constant state of exhaustion and fatigue and increasing weakness – which I believe made me more susceptible to dangerous illness.

JSYK – Our diet has always been mostly whole foods. I rarely eat junk food. I cook most things from scratch because I have many food allergies – most of which are additives in processed foods. Half our meals are vegetarian, and those with meat are still veg heavy meals. We rarely eat white bread, white potatoes, or white rice. I cook with EVOO in most foods. I rarely fry anything. We eat lots of greens. Fish and seafood feature prominently for our proteins. The problem was never my diet.

An example of my cooking is my sloppy joe’s. IDK if you’re familiar with this type of sandwich food, but it’s a loose meat dish. The traditional recipe is made with 80 or 73% lean hamburger meat; the sauce is made from ketchup (which is full of high fructose corn syrup) for it’s base, plus brown sugar, worcestershire sauce, mustard, vinegar, garlic and onion powder, and served on hamburger bun, with American cheese (mostly oil and milk fat), plus mayo, and often more ketchup and mustard. In truth, most people haven’t bothered to make sloppy joe’s from scratch for decades. They just buy a can of “Manwhich” – the ingredients for which are:

Tomato Puree (Water, Tomato Paste), High Fructose Corn Syrup, Distilled Vinegar, Corn Syrup, Less than 2% of: Salt, Sugar, Dehydrated Onions, Dehydrated Red and Green Bell Peppers, Chile Pepper, Tomato Fiber, Spices, Guar Gum, Xanthan Gum, Dehydrated Garlic, Carob Bean Gum, Natural Flavors.

IDK if you’re aware, but the ingredients lists on foods are in the order of quantities of the total. Note that the second ingredient is HFCS and the fourth ingredient is more corn syrup, followed by salt for the fifth ingredient, and more sugar for the sixth ingredient. Which means, after the purée, the primary ingredients are sugar, sugar, salt, and sugar.

My recipe has no added sugar and no added salt. I start with 93% lean ground beef (the leanest you can buy here). My seasoning and sauce begins with an tomato paste for the base, with sautéed ground fresh carrots, minced fresh garlic, caramelized minced sweet onion, sautéed sweet golden bell pepper, crushed red pepper, fresh ground black pepper, worcestershire sauce, balsamic vinegar, and mustard. It’s served on a wheat or multi-grain roll, with provolone cheese, fresh spinach or red lettuce, and fresh tomato, plus EVOO mayo. My recipe is sweet and savory, like the traditional sloppy joe’s recipe, but the sweetness is entirely from the whole food ingredients and the worcestershire and balsamic reductions. The style of my adaptation of the traditional recipe is reflective of my style of cooking in general.

To be fair to the readers of this "dead poems" thread, methinks that in the future if our conversation doth moveth away from the topic of poetry, like it has in this thread, then perhaps one of us can make a new blog page so that we can continue that conversation there.

As I enjoy conversing with you, and as the topic of health is kind of your digression, do you mind if we were to continue this conversation on a new thread at your blog where we can chat about that topic there? I've already written a draft of my reply about how delicious and such that recipe of yours sounds, but it is several paragraphs, and thus I would rather not post it in this thread.

I’m afraid that won’t be possible. I actually don’t blog writer-activism here unless it is in poetry form or creative arts. My writer activism blogging is reserved for Medium.com.

My contribution is “A Soldier’s Hell” https://steemit.com/artzone/@momzillanc/a-soldier-s-hell

@momzillanc,

Well-written and a poignant theme. I'm ex-military. What you describe was not my experience but it is for many others. Psychologists opine that PTSD is often more about what you did to others, than what they did to you. It's complicated.

I read about your inspiration for the poem. Very sad.

Quill.

Thank you. And, thank you for your service.

Yes, it’s very sad that PTSD is still so little understood, still so little treated. Still, our society has come a long way in dealing with the issue these days. In my grandfather’s generation, they called it “shell-shocked” but it was the same thing. He suffered from it and so did one of his brothers. Most of the men in my family served. Several of my great uncles also suffered from it – one of them to a horrific conclusion. My father’s older brothers who served suffered from PTSD to varying degrees, but none were ever treated. They didn’t treat them back then. They were basically just expected to “shake it off” or “man up.” Often, they weren’t even diagnosed.

The refrain shouts truth, @momzillanc.

This poem/song really touches me. I've never been to war or known anyone who's been there, but I do remember a fragment from O'Brien's "Good Form":

twenty years ago I watched a man die on a trail near the village of My Khe. I did not kill him. But I was present, you see, and my presence was guilt enough. I remember his face, which was not a pretty lace, because his jaw was in his throat, and I remember feeling the burden of responsibility and grief. I blamed myself. And rightly so, because I was present.

(This is a metafictional semi-biographical short story from The Things They Carried.)

As I read your poem, various images from movies and stories came to my mind. Happily, they are--still--my only first-hand referent. But I do understand, as O'Brien's narrator explains it, our only presence makes us part of the horror of war. Are we not present in the world, where all wars occur? I guess so, but those who live it, I too guess they never come back from that.

Loved the rhythm and the message, @momzillanc.

Thanks so much. I really appreciate your thoughtful response.

Honor and glory gained for gory deeds
Guilt cuts like a knife while murdered hope weeps
The eyes take in what the hands have done
The soul forever sees the black victory won

Amazingly strong write, Denise:)

Thanks so much, Pryde.

Excellent poem that speaks of the hell that soldiers live when they are dragged to the cruelty that means participating in a war. Nothing resolves wars, but the spirit breaks down. Good job, @momzillanc.

Thanks

Hello everyone. I thought that we have been left without dead people. Here is my resurrected:
senile Desert

Wonderful poem. For me, it reads of life and love, of loss and pain, of fleeting moments and of permanence. You taught me a new word with “ankylosed” – I had never seen that term before and had to look it up.

Thanks for the sharp reading, dear @momzillanc. Good thing you were surprised by that word, it's always an opportunity to win a word to our bank. A hug!

Hi, @zeleiracordero... The desert is an arquetipical image and your poem use it with deep intensity... ;-)

Thank you very much for your good comment, @yomismosoy.

An intoxication of hope,
for so much satiety of the sea.
With ankylosed feelings
in the letters of this salty land.
Dreams that escape

Wonderful surreal imagery:):):)

When I enter the contests I always wait to read your poems, it fascinates me how you write.

As long as this heart keeps some hope, it'll endure. A saddest thing would be that the end of things comes before what it longs for.

Heartfelt poem,dear @zeleiracordero ♥ Loved it!

Your poem isn’t a dead poem. It’s only six days old and still active. It’s also in Spanish – I don’t understand Spanish, so could not, in good conscience, vote for it. However, I thought your images were interesting.

Poem that invites you to live, beyond the pressures of time. Good job, @oscarina.

It's a really fascinating poem.

Muchas gracias @renegadecesar

I love brief poetry. This poem has the virtue of brevity and meaningfulness. Really zen and really romantic, too; it's a fascinating mixture to me.

A true love request ☻♥

We share similar notions of poetry. For me, too, brevity is the very core of poetry. Thank you, i tried to make this poem as refined as possible.

inhabit me
deeply

inscribe me
steadily

Really effective minimalistic work. You obtain some wonderful meter here:)

Thank you! I really appreciate your praise, also at it is coming from native speaker of English. For i am not, and my most radical poetic experiments are taking place in Polish :) .

Fantastic:)

raise rice
through praise

I LOVE experimenting with internal sounds of language, whatever language it might be.

You've written it with your soul, congratulations.

Thank you. Yes, i have written it with particular person in mind :) .

Uniting two souls through surrender. Nice

Or melting, thank you!

"Disperse-me" speaks of the spirit of surrender, but unsuccessful, of wanting to merge into another, to share, to tear the veil that separates beings. Good job, @bacus15!

You have decoded my poem quite smoothly, friend. Yes, those were my intentions behind, roughly speaking.

Hi, @prydefoltz, guys ♥

Strong women never die. Tumultuous Fanny of powerful poetry. I like it.

Here's the body I've just exhumed:

"Man with a Knife"

Poetry for me is not just about meanings. It is far more far reaching and deep phenomenon. In your poem, there is nicely organized anarchy of sounds, of rhymes, of motions even ;) . Like there would be some intriguing hurry in unraveling the poem itself.

Your comment is pretty much a poem, @bacus15. I'm glad we share similar notions about poetry, and I'm certainly thrilled because you've liked this piece :D

What is poem? Everything could be a poem, not everything is. Unorganized street buzz is not a poem. But street buzz penetrated poetically is :) .

Nice to meet poetic peer :) . Looking forward to more discussions with you!

Death with its scythe awaits us through the lines of the poem. Excellent treatment of the subject. Good job, @marlyncabrera!

Thanks, dear @zeleiracordero. Indeed, death awaits always. Some circumstances makes it to get closer.

A chilling, Poe-esque write.

"Poe-esque", love it :D

Thanks, @momzillanc!

Hi, @marlyncabrera... There is no topic that escapes the menacing beauty of art.... Not even the horror of a cruel and imminent death.... Great poem ;-)

Thanks, @yomismosoy. Death is such a strong theme that it makes things a bit easier for the writer ;)

Silence sounds like silver
if you know the quivers,
quiet chills of menace
—if you’ve ever been there.

Motionlessness mutters
deafened, heedless slurs

Loving this wordsmithing:)

I like it that you call it wordsmithing. It tells me I did something good given my obvious motivations to write this down. Thanks, @prydefoltz :D

:)

perfect poem

It's wonderful to be able to read you

Not at all. You're too kind, @renegadecesar :-) Thanks!

Yes ... of course. #deadpoems runs the week through. Be sure to reesteem this post and read and upvote some of the other participants work in the feed. Do not up-vote the original post as they cannot receive any rewards. At this stage in the contest's development, I reward those who participate and support their fellow participants as much as I do those who get the most upvotes.

Lovely, rather bittersweet haiku

muchas gracias amiga @momzillanc

Overly simplistic and kind of sophomoric for the poetry you people are writing. But, I'll bite:

https://steemit.com/photography/@dswigle/whisper-left-upon-my-lips

Your poem is sweet and touching.

But, “overly simplistic and kind of sophomoric?” Did you intend your comment to seem such a harshly unkind criticism on a post in which you are seeking votes?

Point taken.

I’m sure it wasn’t your intent. Sometimes, our fingers zip along the keyboard and we send those words out into the ether without considering how they may be perceived by others. Thankfully, you can edit a comment here, unlike other platforms.

"Whisper left on my lips" I feel it as a devotional writing, a kind of devotion to divinity, a night session between lips, a message between dreams for someone invisible, but it is installed in the heart.
Excellent work with a subliminal language.

Thank you very much.

Your loveliness carries soft delicate feelings
Like a warm whisper
Passing swiftly by

Just an elegant and soft voice. I am so happy you joined in this week:) I hold that romantic pen of yours in high regard:)

beautiful poem

@prydefoltz,

Perhaps some of you think you know how to comment. I doubt any of you could hold a candle to Pryde Foltz. Read the comments section of this post.

And, believe it or not ... this is not even a particularly long exchange compared to others we've had!

Pryde's a thinker and highly articulate. We disagree on just about everything, but no matter ... she's one of my favorite people on Steemit. Pryde makes me think.

https://steemit.com/poetry/@quillfire/from-whence-that-you-came-being-a-moral-person

I love historical poems, including genealogical poems. Well penned.

As a side note, I’m also a rather lapsed student of my own genealogy. My Gran spent many years researching and tracing our family history. I mention this because of the opening setting of your own poem – My ancestry includes William the Conquerer in the mix.

@momzillanc,

I lucked out. Someone in my clan wrote a whole bloody textbook (and a thick one at that) on Savage genealogy. Some people love history, others couldn't care less. I love it ... and find in it many great inspirations for both life and poetry. Technology changes, people don't.

Quill.

My Gran researched and wrote the genealogy for our clan history in the States (Grahams of Montrose). She printed up about a dozen copies of her compiled research. I had a copy once, but my mother took it because she didn’t have one. She lost that copy. Gran was in a nursing home by the time this happened, so I couldn’t ask her for another copy. IDK what happened to the rest of the copies. As far as I know, none were found when the house was cleared out after my grandfather passed away. There’s plenty of info on the Grahams of Montrose still in Scotland and the UK. But, I believe my Gran’s research was the only record of the clan in the States at the time she compiled it.

@momzillanc,

That's bloody terrible. All that work and knowledge ... lost. I suppose there's an argument for the blockchain.

Quill.

IKWYM. For me, it’s heartbreaking.

Thank you, Quill:) Some days are better than others:)

Hello, steemians poets of the Earth... Greetings from Venezuela! Thanks, @prydefoltz by your wonderful space to share our poems... I feel in a warm intimacy here, especially after I read the great artworks of our partners...
Well, I'm daring to share this post where I translated one of my first poems published on paper and in which I also briefly tell the adventures and misadventures of the little Editorial house that published my booklet.
https://steemit.com/poetry/@yomismosoy/prayer-oracion-i-share-my-own-translation-of-one-of-my-first-poems-published

Very interesting. I loved that you shared with us this post that says a lot about you. You develop very well as a writer. Good for you!

An interesting poem and an intimate look into your personal perspectives and journey as a poet.

Teach me to live as the lowest,
as the one who has been
deprived of certainties

A wonderful poem of overcoming ego:) Great work:)

I really loved it. Congratulations, buddy.