I will give away upvotessteemCreated with Sketch.

in contests •  8 years ago  (edited)

To the first 5-10 who tell the funniest #Jokes !

25% if you only comment a joke.
50% if you post a story in #Jokes. 100% if I LOL !!

Post the Joke using #Jokes

Then share the link in the comments. Make sure to Upvote and ReSteem!

contests jokes funny laugh
8 years ago by

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19 votes
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    • [-]
      ·  8 years ago (edited)

    A rabbit is running through the forest and is screaming: "GAYS GAYS GAYS". The lion stops him and says "I am the king of the animals, why are you creating chaos in the forest, look at how young you are, you still have milk around your mouth". THen the rabbit responded "It`s not milk, GAYS GAYS"! #Jokes

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    3 votes
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

    What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
    FLOOD LIGHTS!"

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    2 votes
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

    Sven and Ollie were out in the forest hunting one day. They came into a clearing and right in the middle, was a naked women on a rock sunbathing.

    Sven and Ollie approached her, looked at each other and the smiling girl. They asked her if she was, "Game". The pretty girl looked at the two men, up and down and replied, "Sure".

    So they shot her!

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    2 votes
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

    One of my favourite jokes:
    I had to buy a new hoover at the weekend because my other one was collecting dust.
    Love telling people this one haha :)

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    1 vote
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago (edited)

    Question: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Answer: 7

    One to screw it in.
    One to blame men for not changing the light bulb.
    One to blame men for changing the light bulb.
    One to call the light bulb a racist because it´s more light then dark.
    One to call for an end to the "darkism" light bulbs are portraying.
    One to feel harassed by the "screw in"of the light bulb in the socket.
    One to go on national media proclaiming the rape culture of light bulb socket- raping needs to stop.
    One to proclaim light bulbs can not only be light or dark, but also be trans-light and trans-dark.

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    2 votes
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

    A genie and an idiot
    Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’

    #Jokes

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    2 votes
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

    This joke has been my litmus test with nearly every job I've ever had: If my coworkers laugh at it, then I know I'm working with good people.

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    2 votes
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

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    1 vote
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

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    2 votes
    [-]
      ·  8 years ago 

    100% UpVote!! LOL

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      1 vote
      [-]
        ·  8 years ago 

      Thank you, my good sir. Lol

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        1 vote
        [-]
          ·  8 years ago (edited)

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          2 votes
          [-]
            ·  8 years ago 

          Imagine Donald Trump is elected president of the United States of America.

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            [-]
              ·  8 years ago (edited)

            An old fella, Harold has memory issues. His Friend Virgil comes over to his house and says "How's your memory, Harold?"
            Oh it's gotten much better since I started taking a new medication
            Oh yeah, that great! I'm so happy to hear that. What's it called?
            Hmmm, aw jesus I'm actually having some trouble remembering it....What's the name of that flower you give to your sweetheart?
            Uh, um, er, an encarnation?
            No not that one
            How about a daffodil?
            No, no it's red and has thorns
            Oh, you must be talking about a Rose!
            **Yes that's it! **(And then Harold calls up the stairs) ROSE, WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT MEDICATION THAT'S HELPING ME WITH MY MEMORY???

            #Jokes

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              [-]
                ·  8 years ago (edited)

              Also posted in #jokes! :) --Oh and upvoted and resteemed too

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                [-]
                  ·  8 years ago 

                OMG my vote actually gives more than 0.02$ now my tributes for whale fondling are worth more now!! take my money

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