By the end of the 30s, I began to realize that the midlife crisis was not far away. Now I slowly started to question the meaning and purpose of my life. I had many roles in my daily life. Mother, research assistant, writer, friend, sister, child, spouse. But I was crushed under these roles and I was afraid to expose my own self.
By this time, I had always mocked the concept of a midlife crisis and thought it was painful to be told about it. I think the mid-life crisis was total bullshit. If you had a difficult life in your middle ages, it was because you didn't make sacrifices on time. So you should stop being annoyed, stop talking and start working harder.
But then I started to realize that there was no such thing as a mid-life crisis. The crisis was intense, short-lived, violent, easily identifiable and controllable.
At this point, it would be more accurate to say middle age crisis, but middle age enlightenment.
This concept, which we can call enlightenment or analysis, is used for something you cannot control. You cannot improve your longings, achievements, longing for alpha parity, and longing for being defective. You cannot improve middle age enlightenment with control.
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