As Mark Twain said “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics”. I like this phrase. Even though it’s just an artistic move from Mr Mark Twain, that shows that average numbers can be misleading, I still find a grain of reason in it.
I decided to make an experiment and describe the average “fictitious” relationship between a man and a woman in the USA according to official social statistics. It will be from the first time they see each other and till the time they are married.
He and She
His name is James. He is 25 years old. He has brown eyes and black short cut hair. His height is 5 ft 9.9 in (177.5 cm). James is 196.9 lbs (89.3 kg). Sometimes he jogs in the mornings, but still has a couple of extra kilos.
Her name is Mary. She is 23 years old. She also has brown eyes and black hair. Her height is 5 ft 4 in (162.56 cm). Mary is 170.6 lbs (77.4 kg). With this height and weight she is certainly not a super mode. And sometimes it bothers her. So, she visits the local gym from time to time.
First Meeting
James was thinking on how to find a girlfriend in 2020. He was active in “looking” but passive in “acting”.
James and Mary found each other online on Facebook. He noticed her in “Friends” of his colleague John and really liked her profile. But he didn’t want to look obsessive, therefore he just liked one of her pictures where she was in his favourite restaurant and left a comment. Something like “Hey, it’s my favourite restaurant!”
To his surprise she answered in a couple of minutes. There was something like “I just love it!”
At that moment James felt confident and clicked “Add to Friends”.
When Mary received the “Friend” request from James she opened her profile and found him interesting for her. But she didn’t want to add James right away. Mary didn’t want him to think that she is desperately looking for a boyfriend. So, she added him the next day and “waved” to him.
It gave James even more confidence and he texted her. After quite a short innocent conversation they agreed upon the first date at a coffee house.
First Date
At the end of the week they met after work at a coffee house. It was an ideal place since this place is usual for both and is not binding. They had some nice talk and found lots of things in common.
Then they took a walk in the park and agreed upon having the second date sometime next week.
Second Date
James realized that the initiative should be on him and he has to offer the 2nd date. It is always a disputable question how long you should wait between the first and the second date.
You don’t want to be too pushy and at the same time you don't wanna let those first date feelings cool down.
At the same time Mary liked James on the first date and was waiting for his call or message. Luckily the next day he texted her with the suggestion to go to the cinema to watch a new movie. And Mary gladly agreed.
So, they went to the movies. They were not pretty sure whether they liked it, though. The thing is that they were thinking more about how to react and if they should hold their hands and kiss.
After the movies he brought her to her home and here they have their first kiss.
Third Date
After the first kiss both Mary and James were sure that they were having a good and healthy relationship.
On their 2nd date Mary wanted to impress James and told him that she cooks well. And somehow it turned into the idea of having dinner at her place.
In a couple of days James came to her apartment and they had a very nice third date. He brought some wine and she prepared a delicious pasta. They talked and listened to romantic music. Then they moved to a couch and here they had their first sex. He stayed at Mary’s for the entire night.
Next Dates & Marriage
The third date made their relationship really strong. They had dates quite often. They met 2-3 times a week.
They watched baseball, went out of town together, visited friends and relatives.
In 4 months they agreed upon living together. And in 1.5 year they got married. Luckily according to statistics they will not get divorced and will have 2 beautiful children.
Wrap Up
This was a short story of an average American couple in the 2020s. We saw 2 statistically average people with the most popular names that successfully built their relationship.
I am super happy for them. Though, I’m a bit sad that unfortunately they are just a part of the statistics and the reality is slightly more complicated.