The Simplest Thing To Know If You Want To Find "The One"

I've been known to be a "serial dater." Back-to-back relationships. Or, when I'm not actually in a relationship, a serial obsesser. There's always one guy that I believe is "the one."

It's not ridiculous if you look at the facts. On paper, they're perfect. They fit everything on my list. Their looks, their personality, their sense of humor, almost everything.

But there was one thing missing from all of these prospects and partners...

It didn't feel good. In fact, it felt miserable.

The reasons are always different: "we have the perfect star sign match though....it was literally written in the stars", or "I've never met someone who understands me like this.." or "I've never laughed so hard with anyone", or "it's the best sex we've both ever had", etc.

I've clung to these people because I thought, "They're perfect for me. They have every quality I want. If only they treated me better, it would just be perfect!!!"

Well, the thing is folks - none of those other qualities matter if you feel like crap. If your perfect-on-paper match makes you cry and is continuously disappointing you, ditch them. Like now. Do it right now. Seriously.

As you get older, years get shorter and suddenly you realize you're 23 and you thought you'd be married by now...ahem. Or maybe that's just me. But life is short. Don't waste time and energy on people that are bruising your mental health.

If you feel constantly confused, unsure, not valued, not a priority, used for someone else's pleasure or comfort, tell them graciously where the door is, hug them goodbye (and hug them tight because they just lost you, so they're gonna need a good hug) and close that door.

"The one" is the person that feels good. It feels easy. You feel trust. There is no fear because they've given you no reason to be afraid.

The right partner cares more about what they can offer to you than what you can offer to them.

I'm not saying that a person who isn't "the one" now couldn't be eventually. That is why I try to never say goodbye on bad terms. I like to leave doors open a crack. Because those people evolve and change, just like me and you. Your charmander prince/princess might be a Charzard some day. But don't wait around for the little Charmander. They've only got a little flame, and you want to light up so much more than they are able to right now. And who knows, they may never evolve. And while you're waiting for your lil' Charmander to be a Charzard, you could miss out on ya real soulmate, Pikachu.

Finally, I'd like to close with one of my favorite quotes below:

Peace & Love ❤️
Claire