Would you rather be an old man’s lover or a young man’s slave? Men, what’s the verdict younger or older women?

40+ and single, now what?

Well, most my age believes this. Age is but a number.

This topic was inspired by a show from the famous and outspoken Dr Phill which my mother saw and told me about. It caused a heated debate between members of my family and different opinions were raised but no conclusion reached. This is nothing new though as I am part of a big, crazy, loud and very opinionated family whom are all passionate in everything they do. (Think we can give an Italian family a run for their money.)

The show featured women who only dated younger men and Dr Phill of course wanted to hear their story as he is totally against this. The audience was quite harsh on these women which were understandable taken that most of them are mothers who only wants what’s best for their sons and in most cases older woman does not meet that criteria. I am sure if Dr Phill had older men dating younger women he would have had a very similar reaction from the audience.

Now let me share my own experience with you.

My niece started chatting to a young man 28 years old via Skype and she really liked him. I made a joke after getting involved in one of their conversations and asked whether he had a single father or family member for me. It happened that he had a single uncle my age and he wanted to introduce us. Well, unfortunately to say, the uncle decided that the language barrier and distance between us will make it too difficult.

About year later this young man decided to start speaking to me. We had wonderful, stimulating and intellectual conversations about religion and other topics until he told me that he has feelings for me. I was quite taken by surprise as I never saw him as more than a very interesting and well versed young man. I have three boys ages 20, 19, and 16 so you can imagine my first thought as a very protective mother. . . . . .

I also know a few men whom was either mesmerized by the older more experienced women's beauty and intellect or their ego got a boost because dating an older women seems to be the "cool" thing under men, an accomplishment. They got married to these women and in the beginning things couldn't be better, but eventually age started catching up. The women became less active, gravity slowly taking its toll on the once sexy, hot body they so loved. At age 45 for the men and between 55-60 for their female partners these men are now shopping for new entertainment as the old cannot keep up and interests have changed.

The question I guess on most people’s lips are when spotting an older woman with a younger guy or visa versa: Why do they need to look at younger men, what is wrong with them? He is rocking the cradle, is he out of his mind?

Well, I cannot speak for the men but as an over 40-year-old single women we do not have such a wide, ready to be harvest playing field. The men between the ages 40-50 years wants ladies that are between 25-35 the others are either happily married, damaged goods beyond repair or gay, so where does this leave us?

30-38 year old or (heavens forbid) 60 upwards. No offence to the lovely men ages 60 and upwards but a lady in her 40's is still quite active and vibrant. The younger men . . . . . . really do we want to raise another child, support him, motivate and encourage him?

Honestly, in the forties you want an accomplished but active man, one you want to experience life and have fun with, also not too young as you might not have the stamina to keep up with him especially at an older age.

Your children are out or nearly out of the house, you finally have time to yourself, you are more energetic and you have some spare cash to go out and live for a change. These are the best years in a women’s life.

I am not saying that a 30-year-old could not be accomplished but it is as scares as chicken teeth. Yes, I also know a few 60-year-old men that can kick some dust in the 40 year old men's eyes, but at a certain age you can see and experience how the body is deteriorating. My dad, I can proudly say, always looked after his body and as an 80-year-old can still be considered as quite a catch.

My conclusion:

A successful marriage it not about the age, it is about the amount of effort being put in from both sides and compatibility. When choosing a life partner, I believe that it is all about personal taste, personality, how energetic and vibrant you are, religion and culture, whether or not you meet each other emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. I have seen all kinds of marriages work and again others not. You never know, so don’t judge until you have worn their shoes.

Keep smiling, reading, writing and voting!