Eae, it's been a while isn't it?
Last time a posted here was from the carnaval, a great time here in Brazil. Now, i'm just here to release some steam.
Recently i'm feeling more depressed than usually, and the feeling of moving away from friends and family is getting stronger.
The worst part of everything is the void that I feel when I thought about this, It's consuming me.
And I like it.
I like being like this, I like being this depressed, I like being alone, not having anyone but myself to talk, and every time I'm with my friends and family i feel strange, like I don't belong with these people or these people aren't who i wannna be with.
Its getting harder to feel the need for caring for other people, and I already don't care about myself.
I feel like I am slowly becoming something that isn't human.
And I like it, being a strange being among humans, don't feeling anything but a void, i't just makes everything clear.
Everyday is just peace in my mind, because I don't care about anything, nothing can get in my nerves.
But I still like everything that makes me escape from reality, like drugs or games. So I have this question on the back of my mind.
"If I'm this depressed, and the feeling of running away from reality is so fucking strong, WHY do I like being like this?"