Welcome to another edition of "Daily Discussion," a community engagement initiative I started some months back, designed to stimulate more interaction and engagement on Steemit.
When we watch TV programs, or read historical fiction, or even watch movies, we often hear statements made along the lines of "He was an Honorable Man!" or may "That Just Wouldn't Be HONORABLE."
But What Does That MEAN?
Blooming Fuchsia
Most of us probably have some sort of idea what's being talked about, but "honorable" is really a pretty subjective term.
Back when I was in college, one of my friends had the worst imaginable crush on one of the girls in a marketing class we were taking together. He was basically one sad and lovesick puppy!
But in spite of his very intense feelings, he chose to never talk to this particular young woman. You see, we knew she was married and according to Henry (my friend) it just "wouldn't be honorable" for him to make any kind of advances.
Different situation: My cousin and I (as starving students) were eating lunch on a bench on the pedestrian area of central Copenhagen. It was a busy summer day; we happened to be sitting opposite a busy bank. In the many comings and goings, a couple (from the looks of them, quite "upscale") sat on a beach opposite us, loaded down with shopping bags.
Oak Creek, near Sedona, AZ
The husband went into the bank, presumably to exchange money, and came back out holding an envelope he put into one of their bags. They sat for a bit; then we noticed they had left. But they'd left behind one bag; the bag the husband had put the envelope from the bank into.
We went and got the bag, but we couldn't see the couple. There were a couple of books and magazines in the bag, along with what seemed to be a bank envelope and a passport wallet (this was 30+ years ago, before people were as security obsessed as they are today).
We took the bag into the bank and turned it in-- even though there was probably the equivalent of $2000 cash (in 1983 money) there-- because it felt like the honorable thing to do.
So What IS "Honorable?"
Solitary seagull
A lot of dictionary definitions revolve around ethics and morals. They suggest that honorable suggests simply doing "the right thing," regardless of whether it's what you want or it's good, bad or indifferent for us.
But "self-sacrifice" isn't necessarily part of the definition.
Let's Discuss! There are no right or wrong answers here; also no judgment! How do we know what the "honorable thing" is, at any given time? Is it the product of learned behavior we have absorbed from our environment? Or is it more the case of a "do onto others" principle? Or is "honorable" more a result of our own personal value sets-- meaning that my version of honorable isn't necessarily the next person's? Alternatively, do you believe the entire notion of "honorable" is an outmoded idea, in today's society? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
To learn more about the Daily Discussion initiative, please visit the Introductory Post for a full description and participation guidelines.
created by @zord189
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 180128 15:23 PDT
Honorable always comes with a cost. Turning away from the "easy, profitable, even safe" path. Public honor is definitely subjective to a particular culture, however I believe personal honor, ultimately, is written on our hearts.
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That's a pretty powerful statement, right there. And I would agree with that... personal honor is simply our own personal code, and it has little to do with what others may or may not think. And yes, there is sometimes a cost to doing the right thing.
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You have chosen a very interesting subject here @denmarkguy Especially when sadly, not doing the honourable thing has become almost acceptable in this present day and age. TV broadcasts, newspapers, radios; the media in general, relay situations which are crammed with crime based events on a daily basis. And I'd be very naïve to think that much of what they present is over dramatized but so much more is factual reporting of shocking behaviour of one individual towards another. I really object when the media choose to drip feed us positive stories preferring to serve us a diet of unpalatable gloom and doom. We've learned to expect bad news. When we do hear about a random act of kindness however, we react positively which makes us feel good about the person responsible for performing this act of kindness. Hope for mankind is regenerated in our souls and it is so energizing. Maybe random acts are not as random as we are lead to believe? Who knows? I do believe the values and morals of earlier generations have slipped considerably because selfishness has become a way of life for many. Evil has always existed and 'Mans' Inhumanity toward Man' is well documented over the years. I read with great interest about the two situations you mention in this article @denmarkguy I place a lot of value on the principle of, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," It always pays to put ourselves in the other person's situation if we want to live honourably. If any one of us accidentally left a sizeable amount of money on a seat and walked away not realizing what we had done, wouldn't we be tremendously relieved to have someone with a conscience return it to us without expecting any reward? Many would adopt the "Finders, Keepers" attitude and have no qualms at all about taking what was not theirs. The key in understanding what makes people mistreat others to such an extent is conscience. The more someone mistreats another, the less his or her conscience is pricked. A good conscience ceases to exist in the mind of the perpetrator because at the time of the injustice they have very conveniently justified why they did what they did. Every dishonourable act thereafter becomes easier and easier to perform.
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Thanks for the long and thoughtful response @trudeehunter.
You're right about the media. Hadn't really thought so much about it since we got rid of cable/satellite TV some years ago, but you're exactly right: a lot of programming subtly incorporates the idea that cheating and behaving in ways I would consider less than ethical is not only OK, but in some ways makes you "cool." Or "a badass," is has become one of the new highly prized attributes.
Personally, I can't get behind such thinking.
On the whole, I increasingly get the feedback from the world that my way of thinking-- which generally revolves around the idea of "do no harm" and not cheating or taking advantage of people.
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I was more than happy to contribute to this interesting subject @demarkguy I feel strongly about ethics and injustice and admire your very positive philosophy of, "Do No Harm," Don't compromise your stance for anyone.
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Doing "the honourable thing" has a great knock-on effect. It renews one's faith in humanity.
A good few years back, one of my sons was out clubbing with friends. He had had a few drinks too many and had left his phone on a table at the club when he left to stay at his friend's house.
In the early hours of the morning, my phone rang....
"Jon?" I said.
"No, this isn't Jon. Are you Mum?"
"Yes, is there something wrong with Jon?" I was becoming quite worried.
"I found this phone at a nightclub and the first number on the speed dial is yours. Please ask Jon to ring this phone and I will tell him where to collect it."
Usually if a phone is picked up the chances are it would be kept. Phones are expensive commodities that can be sold on for a profit.
Jon was so relieved that someone had the honesty to return the phone to him. He could hardly believe it. He felt like the luckiest person in the world.
" There are still honourable people in this world Mum." Jon said. "And I will always endeavour to be as honest too."
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That's a lovely story @katdvine! And it's always nice to know that there are still good people in the world... because goodness knows we could use some more positive stories.
One of the things I really like about Steemit is that it seems to have more of a positive "pay it forward" attitude than most social platforms.
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An honorable person is honest and would never think of doing something that could possibly be considered deceptive.
For example..... they would never attempt to overcharge someone on a bill and then hide the fact that the bill wasn't as high as they said that it was.
If they saw someone drop a $20 bill they would pick it up and give it back to that person. They wouldn't stand on the bill so that no one could see it so that they could steal the bill for themselves.
They wouldn't try to trick a guest at a restaurant into paying for something that they don't want.
They wouldn't try to charge a customer more for a computer than the computer was really worth.
They wouldn't attempt to sell someone a service plan for 3 years when the the item in question already contains a perfectly good 3 year warranty.
There are a log of factors that are involved with being honorable. However, I think honesty is one of the very most important things.
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I like these definitions you have offered here. Honesty, above all, seems very important... essentially, we want to conduct ourselves in such a way that people can take us "at face value" when we are in the world. At least that is what I strive for, on a personal level. If I say something "applies to me" then I will stand by that applying to me.
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Honesty and integrity both rank very highly in my book-- along with an inherent sense of "do no harm."
I also consider most people I'd think of as being honorable to be positive thinkers... in any given situation, they seem more oriented towards what is going to go right and who is going to do the appropriate thing, rather than what is going to go wrong.
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That is definitely true as well. The power of positive thinking can definitely take you places.
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An honorable person is someone who believes in truth and doing the right thing — and tries to live up to those high principles. When you lose a game, it's honorable to shake hands. If you smash into someone's parked car, it's honorable to leave a note so they can contact you.
.....
Fuchsia flowers have four outer petal-like sepals and four frilly central petals.
what do you think?
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Doing the right thing and having high principles definitely seems to be at the heart of being honorable. And I think it also includes admitting when you did something wrong, and setting your mistake right.
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I believe that one needs to reflect and create their own code of honor. Our initial definition of honorable is imprinted on us by our family, community, and culture. However, if one never reflects on and questions these beliefs, the status quo (current state of affairs) will remain along with the accompanying social injustices.
Self-sacrifice is often used in connection with those who shed light on and work to change social injustices. Yes, many have given their lives, suffered personal harm, and given up their freedom to make positive changes in the world. Many would say they paid a high cost to do what is right. While this is true, I would argue that the bigger cost would have been personal to them if they didn’t act.
We all must live first and foremost with ourselves. So, in that sense they are not giving up their personal interests in pursuit of a cause. Instead they are following their heart. I think this is best summed up by the song “The Impossible Dream (The Quest)” made popular by the musical, Man of LaMancha.
Here is my favorite version of the song by Frank Sinatra.
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I would agree that "codes of honor" are definitely an individual thing we have to figure out... not just something to blindly follow, simply because a parent did it a certain way.
Self-sacrifice might be called for, but it's not necessary to be honorable. For me, "do no harm" is also high up there.
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Personally, being honorable means being honest to yourself and others. It's when you respect everyone (yourself included) all the time, even when you don't want to.
It can be so easy to talk about being honorable, but you see in society now that it's actually one of the hardest virtues to practice. To be honest, even I have a hard time with this.
As an aside, I'm so glad I followed you. I've been meaning to find someone who initiates these kinds of posts, and I just absolutely love going into discussions about these things. Looking forward to more of these!
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@cruziana, I think staying honorable is challenging because we tend to have very busy lives, and much of the time we are in a hurry. And so, we feel under pressure and perhaps tend to reach for "the easy way out," simply as a matter of trying to get through our day as quickly as possible.
Being honorable requires us to be awake and mindful at all times... and that can actually feel like a lot of work. At the end of a long day, are we going to stop and help someone in need, or will we just say "I'm just TOO tired!" and let it be?
Thanks for the follow!
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Yes, it's so easy to succumb to our laziness and just choose the easier way. Sometimes it might even feel better! But being honorable is really independent from what we feel because sometimes we don't want to do it but we should.
I'm looking forward to you next post!
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Being honorable is not about self sacrifice. It's about not taking what you have not earned. To not take what is someone else's. It may be a lost wallet full of money, or someone else's woman. An honorable person would not steal or otherwise take advantage of a situation to get hold of something that don't belong to them. It is very important for the following reason: I once read than the only crime that exists is theft, cause all other crime are a kind of theft. But being honorable is not just being a law abiding citizen. Everyone knows the legal system of any country is far from perfect, and even when a corrupt law exists what is right must be done. Ok course there is some degree of relativity to it but I believe there are some transcultural values that apply or should apply to any normal human being in the world no matter the country or culture where that person lives.
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That's an interesting theory-- had not heard this before, but it does make sense if you sit and think it through. "Restrictions" on someone ultimately "steals" their freedom, etc.
Interesting perspective, thank you.
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It's debatable but find it interesting. I recall it from the movie "The Kyte runner" and it's credited to the author of the book:
That is compatible with the "Broken windows theory" that states that apparently petty crimes must be punished severely because it creates an atmosphere hostile for more grave crimes.
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Nope,
Society needs Honor now more than ever. Our society is being degraded morally with each passing year and it’s getting worse.
In my generation, no one keeps their word. Truth seem falsified everywhere and people are just being friends with you because you have something material. However forgiveness doesn’t exist in today’s society, if someone forgives another person he is regarded as a saint. Why? Forgiveness is a form of self sacrifice is it not? Shouldn’t forgiveness be universal? Shouldn’t everyone have the capacity to do it?
We are in dire need of some form of honor however not the one that takes people’s lives away.
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It does seem like fewer and fewer people keep their word... and they make promises very loosely: They say "can you lend me $20" without actually having even the slightest intention of giving it back later.
And yes, forgiveness seems to be increasingly rare these days... very sad.
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Simple: keep your word, work to become your best self for you and for others, and finally try not to harm others.
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For me, the "do not cause harm" part of the equation has always been very important. And if I do cause harm... "own" it and make efforts to put things right.
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Exactly. We will fail in this as we are human but that doesn't mean we make excuses or not see any pain we have caused.
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For me it's the do unto others principle.It's making the decision that won't torment you and keep pricking your conscience. I think, for the most part, we know instinctively what the right course of action is though we might deny it and take some other more expedient course.
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I suppose that even if I am not consciously thinking about it, I am definitely aware of wanting to "be able to sleep at night" with any decision I make. And yes, I think we often make suboptimal choices as a result of feeling like we're in a hurry.
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@denmarkguy Great subject for me an honorable man restores the dignity of others ,
and A man without honor is worse than dead .. Only the honorable people resist the injustices!
and The rest - the honorless - are afraid of even their own shadows :)
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I think honorable people often step in and try to correct an injustice when it happens... or, at least, they point out the injustice. Simply standing idly by when something bad is being perpetrated on someone is not honorable.
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Congratulation
Today one year ago you joined SteemItThank you, for making SteemIt great and Steem on for more years to come!
(You are being celebrated here)
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Wow... hard to believe it has already been a year...
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thats pretty cool to know. love to read this post.
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beautiful flowers, love this
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Fail with honor is more "honorable" than win with cheating :-)
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First I have to say what a great post to encourage intelligent discourse on this platform! Any blog that increases the depth of community spirit is A+ in my books! :)
Secondly, in terms of honor; I think that if you have the ability to feel empathy for people (not sympathy), honor naturally flows from that. With empathy, you have the ability to 'stand in someone else's shoes and feel what they're feeling', so using your example, of course it would have been great to have an extra $2000 in your poor pockets:), but I'm sure you could imagine what that poor guy felt like when he realised he was missing "that" bag! Feeling empathy shows to a really nice character, and you, I believe, are one of those:)
I've only been on steemit since December, but I am still so amazing at the community spirit here. I'm thrilled to have stumbled upon your post, and look forward to viewing more like it. Cheers!
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