I've been stuffering from a mental/behavioral disorder, don't know the real name. I researched it with google and to those mental/behavioral disorder that I have found, I'm still confused. I searched for anger management through google and it has various types so I did type my question instead.
"Why I hurt myself when I get angry or frustrated?"
And I found the key word "self-harm/self-injure". Some article says it's a bipolar disorder, other is BPD Bordeline Personal Disorder and etc.
Anyways, it's not really important to do this coz I can rely my answers from the psychiathrist, right? But who and where? Specially here in our country, Philippines, this kind of disorder is very rare. I know I'm not the only one suffering from this disorder, or whatever it is.
This "disorder" was triggered just last night. I got frustrated in a minor problem that can be solved easily but due to overthinking, I was so angry. I complained to my partner but it only led to arguments. At this state, what I always do is shut my mouth and be silent for minutes. Of course she's affected, and angry as well. She can't stop lecturing me. Due to the pressure that I felt, I punched myself hard. I've donee this many times. I hit my head until I had enough. And if I have felt unsatisfied, I just hit myself on the wall. I also slap and punch myself really hard.
My partner is aware of me having this behavior. She hugged me in order to stop the dark effects of my disorder. And as for me, I stand a fight against this cruel sickness. I still want to hurt myself more and more. It usually takes more than 30mins until I calmed down or sleep.
I need help. What should I do?