Greetings big family.
As @peachyladiva rightly said, "Family is a beautiful thing and we all love spending time with our families but here we have disagreements sometimes as a family". Below is @elian23khan story expressing the challenge he went through growing up in a family he loved so much, but disagreements will not allow them to enjoy the warmth of each other.
On a Tuesday afternoon, I got in touch with this elian23khan who is from a polygamous family in Santa Subdivision, Mezam Division of the Northwest region of Cameroon. His father married three women, his mother was the third of the three. He had twenty-three siblings.
As he grew up with his parents and siblings, they argued over anything. Most of the time, they would fight over food, cheating, and other issues related to children and their self-centered nature. As days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and months into years, they were being exposed to what mature people typically have as challenges. Talking of his experienced with his brother, he lamented and said, "I still remember back in our high school days when I was arguing with my older brother about a girl who refused his offer and agreed to go out with me instead. My brother out of jealousy couldn't stand it, so he responded by fighting me. It was disgusting. But it happened. "
He went on to say, “Our parents, although were doing their best to see that we grew up loving and respecting each other, on the other hand betrayed the seed they were planting in us because of favoritism and discrimination. It made the less favored to be jealous and want to fight for favors. While the favored were very arrogant. It also created an atmosphere of fighting between us.
He continued with a sad face and said, “My father - of blessed memory - was everything a loving, caring and exemplary husband and father could be, except for one thing: he lacked administrative skills and because of that, some of his wives were manipulative thus creating a scene to fight between them. And as the saying goes: “When two elephants fight, the grass is doomed to suffer.” Looking between his legs, he paused for a moment, wiped his face and continued to say, "Can you imagine that we got caught up in their fighting against our will!" I loved my siblings, and we enjoyed each other's company despite all the challenges we had. But now our mothers could not allowed us to enjoy each other freely. It sets us apart even more.
Now, with the look on his face, you can really see a man whose heart is broken. You can see the pain in his heart and the worries written on his face. After a moment of silence, he said, "The greatest cause of conflict in my family occurred when my mothers began to accuse each other of witchcraft practices. It was surprising because you could see it happening. Each of us moved away from each other for our dear life as everyone believed his/her mother's words. These scared us away from each other, leading to mistrust and everything a scared person can imagine. "
Now, trying to know how they have gone with settling the disputes he labelled above, he laughed and said, "my brother, There are some challenges in life that can be settled but for some, only a Divine intervention is needed to cope with it". I was so concerned with what he is about to say next. And what he said was really challenging to hear. He said, "Before dying, my dad did all he could to reconciled his wives but it didn't work. He called them one after another, and have closed door meetings with them. And the results were fruitless. He invited them all together, and nothing fruitful came out of the meeting. He involved the first son's of each house. And nothing resulted from that. He then resolved to rather reconciled his children and encouraged them to come together as one despising the yeast of their moms. This to an extent yielded some fruits since we started having family meetings in the family compound yearly. But when he died in 2015, things started taking a spiral turn but the good news is that we are no longer distant from each other."
I invited @paddykam @rosita-nkefor and @chiabertrand.
Blessings
Cc
@peachyladiva
Hello it's post was not made in steemfamily community.
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