Dpoll 38: Should we judge others by our own values?
It is a while ago @ecotrain's QOTW (question of the week) was "Should we judge others by our own values?.
I did not answer the question at that time.
My first respond would be "no" but fact is we, our brain, instinct say "yes".
If it comes to it we are used to us, our lifestyle, habits, the country we are raised and grew up.
We like what looks the way we like. It is programmed in our dna. It is scientifically proved that if you copy someone's behavior that person likes you (the method is used during job interviews and it is a way to manipulate people and get what you want.).
Some people easily fit in and if they emigrate find it normal to be part of the new community,others simply refuse.
My grandparents were an example of fitting in. Once in the Netherlands they spoke Dutch only and lived by the rules and Dutch law. They never forced their "habits" upon someone else.
Religion, food, politics and the way they (mainly my grandmother) raised their children was private.
They would never demonstrate, write on walls, raise their voices, yell the are discriminated. They worked hard, made friends and never blamed society for their misery.
The Dutch society always been a mixed one.
Not only because of the colonies the country once had but many Chinese live there too. We are used to all kinds of faces. No matter what they think, eat or believe. I guess in some way they managed to fit in no matter if they mixed with Dutchmen or stayed with their fellows.
Times change and we deal with cultures that do not fit in or... give in.
If I visit these countries I live by their rules, in my own country I need to live by their rules too and this is something I do not understand and refuse.
If you want to be normal, accepted you need to act normal. Misbehaving, stealing, vandalism, gang rapes, yelling, shouting, etc is not considered as normal behavior but... some get away with it because they claim it is normal in their home country (although I have strong doubts about it. Cutting off a thief's hand still does not belong to the world's history.).
As a society, we set/developed values, norms and based our laws on it.
My father always said "If you think you can have it better elsewhere leave."
I say: "If you can not live with it leave, find a better place where you are accepted the way you are."
There are plenty of societies and the world is big enough. Long story short my answer is "Yes". Why? Because what for me counts should count for someone else too.
Freedom comes with a price and we all have to pay our share to assure it will be guaranteed to all of us. Not to the one with the biggest mouth only.
Should we judge others by our own values?
- Yes.
- No.
- Other,... (please share your opinion)
Answer the question at dpoll.xyz.
Yes, never let your values slip, live within the rules of any country you decide to live in and play by their rules.
If everyone goes around doing whatever they please this world would be in even a bigger mess than it is in already.
Good sound ethics takes you a long way!
@tipu curate
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Wise words and I agree with you, especially if it comes to the mess. Thank you for your vote and tip. 💕
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Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 5/10 - need recharge?)
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Vote for yes 70% no 30%. The question is general, but your description are mostly about a country's practice and or cultural difference as I read it. I will give you my answer based on individual aspect.
It's alright to judge in our mind. Somehow it's a natural reaction. We can do our very best to NOT judge, but who is there to ask us not judge? I have a story where a YouTube purposely dress low down go to the car showroom, and test the salesman reaction. As you can guess, in the end nobody served him, the manager order him to leave the premises, and finally one new guy send him a brochure and walked the dressed down man off the premises whilst explaining the term and the vehicle performance. And the show goes as drama as it could, the man make a call and a luxury car drove in and an executive stepped out of the car and bring two bags of cash, the man wanted 3 cars from the salesman who doesn't judge him. What a touching and marvelous story. And then guess what, until now, 7 years, my friends in the car sales tells me they had to handle bunch of dressed down people that acted like they have cash to buy 3 cars 😂
On the side note, judgemental can be good. One does not need to assume you know who they are, all you need to know is, do your part. be the best version of yourself in front of another individual. But somehow you play a guessing game in your mind, it's fun how much the actual answer given by a person compare to your expectation. But if you guess it correctly all the time, dude you're sick. Which means you're too careful and you'll never make friend, because you have already outlined every possibilities of an individual trying to comMunicate with you.
So more than half a time, I think judgemental is alright and we should use it, but the other time which we should not, is voice it out 😅
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The story about the car salesman is a very old one. By now no one falls for that anylonger. Not in my country. Rich people may be badly dressed but they speak, walk, act differently. This besides of the fact you are checked if you want to buy a car, a loan is very common and if you pay your car or repairs cash like I do they find it weird and might not trust you either (fake money).
Many car salesman do not accept visa or master card. The visa card is not popular in the Netherlands.
No matter what we judge.
I will be the last one who says I will not. I do not care about what people wear but how they speak, behave and my instinct was always right although I ignored it each time again.
It is the same here on Steem. We judge and that is why we do not read certain posts or people. Might be because of their writing style or the subjects they talk about, the photos we use or what they look like. We judge it is a fact.
Thank you for your voting and story/explanation. I appreciate it. 💕
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It is very complicated. We can judge others if we have a concrete information about the other person and we also have proper judgemental power.
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Thank you for your vote. 💕
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We shouldn't hold other people's values against them if they differ from ours, BUT I believe you can tell what type of person someone is through their values & morals.
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A good point. Thank you for your vote. 💕
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Maybe yes for people in your own country, but there are many different cultures around the world. Something may be normal/convenient for you, while other people may see it different. Some things can even mean different things. Some things, which are usual for you, may mean impoliteness in other countries. For example have you heard that the people in Japan are not smiling with open lips? This is, because in their culture it is impoliteness if someone let others see his/her teeth.
You may clap at the end of a performance or meeting, but people are kocking the table in Germany. Clapping is reserved only for theater performances and for concerts. Do you know how people are introducing themselves in Spain? They are loud and friendly. If you visit them, do not get surprised, when they kiss you on your face at the introduction. This is an accepted greeting form there.
Men in India used to walk hand in hand. This does not mean that they are in love relationship. This is simply a sign of friendship. By the way, love couples does not express their feelings towards each other in public.
In some Asian countries, for example China, Korea or Japan, it is a sign of acceptance and appreciation the loud slurping of the soup, which in most of the cases is impropriety in the western cultures.
In some cultures, when you burp, it is normal, meaning you liked the food. it is even expected in the middle east countries, and it is disgusting in other cultures. If you look around the world, this may even be different withing a single country. Some people think that it is disgusting, while others not. In some cultures, when you nod your head "yes", you actually mean "no", because it is reversed in their culture. For example in Bulgaria.
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I lived in Germany but never saw anyone knock the table instead of clapping their hands.
You can burp and slurp as much as you like in your own house or restaurant but if you are a visitor or guest you do not spit in front of my feet because you say its a habit in your country and you do not rape toddlers because it is common in your country... You live in mine and the rules and law that count for me count for you too.
If 100 km/hr is the max you are allowed on our highways you can not drive 180 because in your country you can.
But I think you know exactly what I mean.
If I go abroad I stick to the rules of that country. Especially if I am in public and it is not special or discrimination if foreigners do the same.
I do not care who walks hand in hand with whom, what people wear and grew up in a world where dirty smokers blew smoke right into your face. If I go to a restaurant I accept those who are loud and misbehave although it is my evening out too and I saved for it but I do not like and accept it and I do measure their behaviour to my standards, the way I am raised. I do the same with Dutchmen misbehaving during their holidays/abroad. A good reason to avoid them.
Thank you for your vote. 💕
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It's the only way we can judge...
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Wise words. Thank you for your vote. 💕
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Thank you for the cuddle. 😍💕
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Thank you for your vote. 💕
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Thank you for your vote. 💕
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Thank you for your vote. 💕
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We will automatically do this. We should keep it to ourselves most of the time, though.
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I agree. Thank you for your vote. 💕
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Thank you for your vote. 💕
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Thank you for your vote 💕
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Thank you for your vote. 💕
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We should not judge others at all
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Thank you for your vote. The fact is we do and you too. It is the same here on Steem. We do listen to our instinct, inner voice, see what we like or not and ...💕
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The question is should we judge others by our own values.
My answer is, we shouldn't judge others.
However, if we're talking specifically about immigrants from other lands coming to live where we are, I think they should be willing to live according to the laws of the land, or work within the system to change the laws.
There are universal behaviors that nearly all should be willing and able to accept, and that list of yours should not be considered good in any society.
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Thank you for your vote and explanation.
Fact is we judge. We can pretend we are not but we do. 💕
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And other stands for?
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And other means to you?
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@fredkese Thank you for your vote. ❤️
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Thank you. 💕
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