The ego constantly craves attention – whether positive or negative.
Negative attention still feeds the ego because at least the focus is on “me” and people are watching you. It may not be in the most flattering light but at least it makes you feel important, in some way.
Often, this craving of attention leads us to talking about ourselves – our accomplishments, goals, and ambitions. We become super talkers. We begin to see “silence” as a negative thing, because it means we are stepping down from the spotlight and someone else may have it. The ego can’t stand that.
But according to Holiday, silence is a great antidote to ego. It teaches us how to step aside and let others have the attention. It also teaches us that our actions are often far more important than our words.
“We seem to think that silence is a sign of weakness. That being ignored is tantamount to death (and for the ego, this is true). So we talk, talk, talk as though our life depends on it. In actuality, silence is strength – particularly early on in any journey. As the philosopher (and as it happens, a hater of newspapers and their chatter) Kierkegaard warned, ‘Mere gossip anticipates real talk, and to express what is still in thought weakens action by forestalling it.'”
It’s easy to talk about ourselves and try to make ourselves look good to others by putting on a wonderful presentation. But a truly confident person should let their actions speak for themselves.
If you have to constantly talk about yourself and your strengths to look good to others, that is actually a sign of weakness. It means you can’t stand on your own two feet and look good without needing to “sell yourself” to everyone.
If you can become comfortable with silence, and letting others have the spotlight, you have already taken a great step in diminishing your ego.