The Prelude - Before the change

Where do we start at story? Not always at the start. Sometimes its in the middle.

So lets start here. I was standing right there last week. It was all clear out. And I thought of ET.

Then, I came back. To my work.

today that is, because I was making another AUDIO.
I love audio. Its the Frequency you know?

let me listen again with you ok? Then I can really finish this. Because I said adeus a while back.
Like...how long ago? I know it was not just a few minutes. Even though, I have been ALL OVER THE PLACE. Thats normal for me.

Wait, slow down. Don't leave. The beginning is a jumping point Wait for the YOUR chAnGE >> #fishouttawatternotesdontforget

https://www.dropbox.com/s/si8gpz8hvnv3xp5/Oldschool%20Book%20Review...food%20Junkies...dr%20%3D%20Teacher.m4a?dl=0

You'll hear about JR in here. Again.

change right in the middle of time

CHANGES IN TIME -

From EGO to Eckhart and Back...again

See how it's not really messy like earlier? That's because this is the deeper stuff.

I say "deeper instead of deep because I'm about right here on the Consciousness scale.

I usually do this when I explain.

I know you have heard me.

Saying bad words. You can only erase one ...thing...at...a....time. #catchingthoughtsOneByOne#catchingthoughtsOneByOne

This all started last weekend by the way.

#gototheEndifyoujustwantogopastgoandcollectonehundreddollars #noresidualforyou :)

Here, let me ramble you right into this recording. No, you can't make this shit up. No prewritten crap.

it's how I started this whole new type of blog post. I usually just talk about an individual. And BUT, on this new platform, I am getting out of my comfort zone.

#TimetoswimwiththewisewhaleswhoREMEMER

[grattitude picture here] - Thanks for waiting. One day, I will have a 400gb microsd...and I can do a stop motion of my day. I am glad I got the resilience powerup....you will see what I mean.

CHILDHOOD stored unconscious memories.

Note the title
#squeezingdopamine #usingbluelighttoboostsoIcaneditandFocus #negativebiohackingforgood

~

https://youtu.be/4Z9WVZddH9w?t=23m31s

I watched that for the first time at my new abode. In the pocket you may have heard me speak of. #THEpOCKETiSinrecordingfromlastweekattheend. #funafterserious

From my first "mind"therapy session - From memory... ADD does NOT mean bad memory. Just messy sometimes

"Speaking out will not be cool. But, if you do, you can go hide in your room." - #breakthrough to the other side
#fortheboomarkers maybe I'll show you my first therapy transcript .
the lady is now another of my angels that I never believed in. #mybreakthroughbrenda
they never tell you even when they are telling you, y'know?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/si8gpz8hvnv3xp5/Oldschool%20Book%20Review...food%20Junkies...dr%20%3D%20Teacher.m4a?dl=0

Back to JR - the EGO side.

JR lead me to rapid change. At least, in a sense.

He showed me how I could do the same thing all over again but faster. The falling down.

I was right on that! #stories will/may follow in time..but not for any glory of mine. I may at some point be flippant with stories of my drug use and other escapades. Fishing for future whales takes special bait. Plankton? I am right now!

He probably had a part to do with you being here.

JR I mean. We all have one. A JR. Pushing us on with what we THINK is our task.

When you begin to feel instead of think> your on track. BASh - Betrayal, abandonment and shame. >#threemaindamagersofthehuman_Emotional_Imprint and from these, all else flows. Anger, Fear and Rage (plus >>a laundry list of other stuff.

There's that laundry again.

I remember reading his stuff very briefly online in my small sunroom on the fourth or fifth floor of the lexington building across from the fully in effect greatest hockey stadium ever in history. Maple leaf gardens. There are a few maple leafs in my life. I know I mentioned somewhere that my brother and I both resided for a time on maple leaf drive...just not at the same time. Same bunch of ...well, I may tell that cleaning story sometime if we get into the difference between messy and dirty. Kinda a good analogy. For me anyway:)

#THE VOID

And then, I ran Pellmel into the void.

Of university life and a chronic ongoing addiction to dopamine increasing substances that I used to concoct with >whatever makeshift or bought equipment from alphachem, here in Toronto. Well that place was in Mississauga...but >today, that's all part and parcel of, the GTA. #toronto #addiction #beginnings

Sometimes we start something and it does not come out the way we thought.

I thought that if I treated consciousness like my weight training...I could just speed it all up.

#Return to Eckhart with tens years of journeying to review

Well, eckhart, I want a second shot! At the title .

Achievement: Longest segment of time between original wake up and even beginning to get it. #puttymedal

15 years penance served concurrently: Crime: Skipping steps.
superpower used to #climbthemountainbackfromhades : resilience
hidden #powerup : magic stones of surrender #elfstonesofshanarabookreview

Before, it was just lip service.

I didn't understand about that thing called grace .

Especially when he said it sorta like:

"You can't keep a scorecard and add up your consciousness ranking. It happens by grace."

Of course there are many other factors if you wish to get all semantically about it and distract yourself from the real thing.

Allowing.

Letting go

Learning from hindsight is actually the Only way we learn, even in hindsight. [ryerson building video?]

Well, I stood outside last weekend in The same spot I am now.

And I was recording myself remember that part about eckhart and the journey came back.

See, memories are formed in certain emotional states and if you re-enter that state again, it will come back clearly.

So I went into fear mode for ten years...that's the whole "first there was the ecstasy ...then, the laundry."

Hah! That is why I just could not figure out where I SHOULD put this. #onthewayjohnberardicoachedme #pastteachersididnothear. #howdoImakea colum to put heswishwehadunlimitedtags

My back pain went goodbye. That opened my mind to more than pills and chemical messengers.

I still had a secret hate on for Silvia brown.

Too far out still.

Btw, my fave guy currently (eckhart is like my go to spiritual guy..authentic, previously a tortured mind. #remind me to borrow a book off my journeying dad if he still has then doggeared copy...diary of a madman [bindershot])

I call him, THE BRIDGE.

A guy that says dude a lot that has four degrees when you look at it from our "research based scientific model capitalistic worldview...kinda thing. Holy crap, never written about this shot before. [put parental advisory notice] sometimes, you just have to unload. And I did grow up in a hockey town.

Oh yeah, the other maple leaf, it's on a tatto, on my neck.

The "last one" which was the first one. Very few tattoo seekers ever end up with just one.

Plans change.

But, as long as the journey continues,new each pick up where we left off, and keep on chugging along, each of our consciousnesses will help to raise the other as we look back and say: if I'd only known.

Well, if I had, I'd be at the feet of eckhart right now listening to his voice live, for the first time. #knowyouknowoneofMYdreams #letshelpeachothergetthere
#johnseckhartstoryherequestionmarkreminderhashtag #ADDgiFT

##Last weekends a bonus material: stuff you speak out loud goes in twice. And then one week later...it all comes out in one spot.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/si8gpz8hvnv3xp5/Oldschool%20Book%20Review...food%20Junkies...dr%20%3D%20Teacher.m4a?dl=0

Practice makes perfect.

#unconciouscompetence

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