NOTHING IS EVER THE SAME TWICE

Saturday 10/09 / 2011- It was a warm and fresh afternoon, I admired the sunset from my balcony. I will never forget the strange feeling that I felt that afternoon, it was like a feeling, I knew that something special happened.

That same day in the evening I went to a recognized local in the city of Caracas, Venezuela. I was with my friends, and between drinks the party was animated, we left the place to get high, in that I remember that I saw a beautiful girl and my attention was focused on her, she was a very pretty blonde, with long hair, good body and coincidentally one of my friends knew her, do not hesitate to introduce me and immediately I took conversation. I spent all night dancing with her, it was like something magical, there was a lot of chemistry between her and me. I am not to fall in love, particularly I consider myself cold, I like to hesitate and already. After that night I did not know more about her.

Once upon a time, it came to cross in my thoughts, but I decided not to look for it.

Two weeks went by and I got a job in a call center. Devils! the first day of work I remember seeing an identical blonde, I thought it was her, but then I said nah, I'm crazy, it would be almost impossible. The girl turns and looks at me as if she knew me, in that moment I knew it was her. We talked for a while and this time I asked for the number, we agreed to see each other in my apartment that same night.

I knew there was something special about her, there was a force of attraction that put her in my way, a kind of signal.
That same night everything was magnificent and I had that strange feeling again while she was in my arms, it felt so unreal and at the same time so pleasant that I thought I was in a kind of dream or trance, I felt that at any moment they were going to pinch me and wake up.

The days passed and I asked him to be my girlfriend, I was in love with her. She was understanding, affectionate, reserved, beautiful, fun, cheerful and I felt good next to her, she filled me up.

We did everything together, we went to the beach, to the movies, to the park, we had lunch together, we had fun, I spoiled her a lot and she worked hard to pay for all those trips. The only thing that made me sound is that she was very jealous, she did not like that I went out alone or that I had friends, and I got a point in the relationship where things got tense, at 3 months we had a strong fight. I was grumpy and she was somewhat controlling, I got a message from a friend inviting me to a party and she got very upset, we went to the insults and screams, until I felt a very strong slap, was in shock for a moment, then I went back yes and I squeezed her hand hard, she screamed of pain, and I realized that she had just hurt the love of my life, it was as if I had hurt myself, in that moment I felt so miserable.

After that we distanced ourselves a few weeks, but in the end we managed to fix it; We swore that we would never again treat ourselves aggressively. The best memory I have with her was a trip we made to the coast, she loved the beach and I loved her, if I could go back in time I would definitely go back to that moment.

At eight months we had the hardest moment of our relationship, she became pregnant and suffered a spontaneous loss. It was very sad for everyone, we were excited to have a child and this marked us for life. I still remember his clothes full of blood, his screams and tears.

After this nothing was the same, we had many fights, disagreements, we no longer worked together and it became routine. Jealousy and insecurity took over the relationship, we checked the phone, I claimed if I did not upload photos with them, I hacked the facebook, I watched and I remember a tantrum of jealousy that gave him a party, he made me feel uncomfortable, It was a bad night.

A year and a half ago I met a very sexy gocha, was very cool and hot. She wanted something temporary with me and I wanted the same, she always knew about my girlfriend's existence, but she did not care. I took her to my house and we had relationships twice, it was like a kind of escape for me. Then we just stopped talking and honestly I felt sorry for having been unfaithful to my partner, he did not deserve it.

The relationship was already damaged, there were lies, distrust and it was no longer love, it was custom. I admit that I did not value her enough, she loved me and I admit that her jealousy was because I did not want to get lost. If I could go back in time I would fix all this disaster, I loved her too much and I still remember our moments together; his smile, his laughter, his witticisms, his kisses, his caresses, his way of making love. This was a love of those who promise to make you feel too much and burn you.

We finish at two years old. I admit that I looked for it everywhere and I never found it, I looked for it in other people, in dreams, I even thought about it being with others. Years later I had contact with her, but nothing was the same, the magic moment had already passed.

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