BREAKING THE MOLD. TAKING A HAMMER TO SEXISM IN SPORT by Angela Pippos - A book about the the extraordinary transformation taking place in Australian sport. A lot of real-life examples we could learn from.
If even one person will read this book, I am happy.
www.affirmpress.com.au/publishing/breaking-the-mould/
Now, where were we? Aha! Yes! What it feels like being the only woman in ‘men’s world’ (aka playing football with men)? I have to admit it - I love it most of the times and hate it sometimes!
Attention, attention! It might seem like you are trying to tell a speech and get everyone to listen, but in my case this means what attention actually means. As per Google’s dictionary it means regarding of someone or something as interesting or important, and the action of dealing with or taking special care of someone or something.
I admit that Google's right, like always. I do get a lot of attention from male participants as having a grown-up woman playing with men is something out of the ordinary. I am something new, interesting and in time I always become important. My teammates have confessed that having me on the team brought a new kind of breathing to the group. I was like the glue that bonded us during the time we played together. Why? Simple explanation actually.
Men just have to show off if there is a female around, as easy as that. This way they push themselves to be better and better to impress. It is a win-win situation if you can handle it correctly. Think about it for a second. I push men to be better in football through their ego, and at the same time they push me to be better, stronger, faster, smarter to survive in a physically stronger male dzungle.
The second part of Google’s definition for attention is dealing and taking special care of someone. Once I am a part of men’s team, and I have been acknowledged as an ‘equal’ game wise, men suddenly start their defensive attitude. By that I mean that whenever I am in trouble, I know they have my back. I feel protected even though if I didn’t need or ask for their protection. It’s part of their nature. Here I will note that striving, and I will not use the word fighting as it should not be a war, so yes, striving for equality does not mean that either male or female have to be totally unbound or independent from each other. So if a male counterpart wants to protect me, I will gladly accept it, as he would if I wanted to help or protect him. That is called being a compassionate human being.
At the same time men like to protect their grounds and seems that once I play in their team, they ‘own me’. I have a perfect example. Once in a men’s practice we had two new players. As per usual they did not pass to me as they thought that since I am a girl, I cannot play. But a very interesting incident happened after the practice. I was stretching aside from the others leaning on a goal post and suddenly those two fellows approached me. I will tell it how it is. They started hitting on me like there was no tomorrow! It had never happened to me before. Yes, of course there is always innocent flirt going on between me and some of my teammates, it’s normal (will explain soon why), but those guys were coming on hard. Like saying that we should have one on one and they could teach me some 'dirty tricks' and having an improper sexual grin on their faces. If to be honest, I got lost as I did not realise what was going on. I am a good judge of character, but this time I just did not understand as full-on flirtation with the aim to seduce the other, had never happened to me on a football field before.
But two of my other teammates saw them encircling me and in no time there were there and made those guys feel so uncomfortable with their presence that those new fellows left me alone. I did not even have to say thank you to my friends as they already knew what was going on. How? I guess they read the signs and face expressions of me and those guys.
Her we come to flirtation. Something you definitely want to know about.
Definition: behave as though attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.
I love men. And men love women. And when opposite sexes are together, there are just that chemistry around that you cannot ignore. Chemistry is well explained in the article ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY EXPLAINED. I will not go into depth of it, but will bring forward some of the keynotes.
https://www.ambiancematchmaking.com/blog/chemistry-the-unexplainable-factor
I will explain romantic chemistry in football terms, so you would not think that I only play for men’s team because I love men (haha).
ATTRACTION. Sexual attraction is one of the most important factors of chemistry. But it does not always mean romantic love, or love at all. It can also be obsessive thinking or focusing on one individual. I have to admit that like I said that innocent flirt has always been a part of playing with men. But it has never had any kind of implication really. I feel the most attracted to the players who see the game the way I see it, who see the runs that I see, and you just have that chemistry and attraction on the field. Like a sexual attraction, I have football attraction with some of the teammates.
SIMILARITY. Some people may say that only opposite attract. I would state otherwise, like the article did. It says that we are attracted to people with similar DNA. And resting on the previous paragraph, I would firmly state that we are attracted to the players with the similar football DNA.
COMMUNICATION. Verbal and non-verbal forms of communication are a vital component to feeling chemistry. Having the same vibrational frequency, it seems that you have magnetised to one another. It’s like a law of attraction. So yes, of course if I have to choose a team, I will choose teammates with who I have a good communication and same kind of vibration. They might not be the most skilful players in the squad, but they are definitely the best to play in the sense of teamwork.
MYSTER. This one is easy. Dopamine in the brain makes you fall in love with someone who is mysterious to you. Having a woman, a really skilful player, on the field battling for the ball with men, of course it is a big mystery to men as they have never tried to break grounds in the female teams, nor could they. So this will remain a big mystery to them why a woman is playing football with men.
SINCERITY. Chemistry occurs most often between people who are down-to-earth and sincere. What could be more down to earth than seeing a girl without a make-up, sweaty, fighting for the ball and making her body do kind of movements that are not ‘girly’ or don’t even look pretty. And sincere? Well, love and same kind of understanding for the game is the deepest sincerity you can get between two footballers.
And here you go, football chemistry and why innocent flirt is a normal thing between female and male teammates explained. It’s science!
Thank You!