So... You thought he or she was the one, you made plans for the future, with him or her in it, then, suddenly, things changed. Maybe it was his or her fault, maybe it was your fault, or maybe it was nobody's fault and it just happened. But all you feel is hurt... and a vacuum.
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But you have to press on and live life as fully as you can, don't you? Well, here's how.
Cry if You Have To... To God
I don't see anything wrong with crying when you feel hurt, but I believe that a more effective cry is the one directed towards God. Crying also mean you are past the denial stage and, having accepted what happened, are facing reality. Crying can be the onset of the necessary healing, so cry to God. Tell Him exactly how you feel, no matter how it may sound, He knows anyway. Just tell Him.
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Take Your Part of the Blame
It takes two to tango, both persons are responsible for the dance performance, whether it turns out good or bad. I am aware of the fact that, sometimes, a person's only wrong doing may be accepting or deciding to dance(date) with a wrong partner. Accept the part you played in the whole thing. Accepting your part makes it possible to move on. Accepting your part makes it possible for you to learn and grow. Accept that you also made a mistake, thereby being partially responsible for what happened.
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Consciously Take a Step Away
There must have been a "world" created between you two when you were together, if you want to move on you have to leave that world, a step at a time, the first step being the most crucial and the most consciously taken step. You have to change somethings, or a thing, that belonged to just the two of you. It's going to hurt, but it has to be done in order to burst the bubble formed by you two. It may be the toughest thing to do, but it will be worth it. It will be the beginning of living life as "me" instead of "us".
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Replace With Something Good
The fact is that if you do away with something peculiar to both of you, a vacuum will be created, now you have to replace it with something good, or else you go back and remain in the lonely, hurting bubble, or you something bad comes along and fills in the gap. This also requires a conscious effort. You can fill out the "extra" time with practicing a hobby, or taking a class, studying, or volunteering. Just do something that makes productive use of the time and vacuum created.
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Forgive... Everybody
Forgive him, forgive her, forgive yourself,
forgive God. I know the last part made you pause. Yes, forgive God. You may not understand why He allowed it happened, so while waiting to understand it better by and by, forgive Him. He is still the only One who has your best interest at heart and is all-powerful. Forgive your ex, so God will forgive you, and so that you will truly heal without the wound decaying on the inside, and looking healed on the outside. Forgive yourself because, you are better than you presently are. You made a mistake, but you are still standing, and you can't go back to the past.
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Count Your Lessons
Make the hurt count for something by discovering the lessons learnt. Don't allow yourself self suffer for nothing. Count your lessons, and memorize them. Bear the scars with pride, they might have cost you tears, but you gained experience from them, don't make them worthless. Use them in your everyday life and maybe you can teach others a thing or two!
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Take Your Time
Loneliness does things to our minds, don't always believe what you feel. Before you try again in the dating scene, be sure you are healed and better. You don't want to be in the same rut, or a worse one just because you felt lonely, and didn't know how to be alone. Live life singly before you hurry into another relationship, or else you take the unchecked programming from your just ended relationship into the new one, which is a great recipe for disaster. Just take your time and love yourself, and let God love you.
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Most importantly, pray. Prayer does greater things than the human mind can fathom. The steps may not come in a particular order or duration, after the first step, but each step is necessary. No matter how devastated you feel, just start by crying to God and sticking with Him. He will surely make your life beautiful in His time.
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"Forgive everybody" That statement cannot be overemphasised. Thank you for this.
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