So many years ago, my world came crashing down.

in exam •  4 months ago 

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It wasn't surprising - I had devoted far too much time to my extra curricular activities and though i ended up with far worse grades in two subjects, it was clear my A-level results averaged out to a D and a D.

I'll never forget the look of gleeful pleasure on my teachers faces when they told me. Like this was proof of what they always knew. That I was a failure, failure baled in by biochemistry and neuro diversity. Or the look of despair and anguish on my parents faces as their golden child had essentially gone off the rails and done mind drugs and joined a no-sex cult.

Today is not about you. It may feel that your fife has ended or just begun but its just one more stone in the road to being you. And I think that that you is pretty cool.

I flopped and floundered for a very long time, trying hats on like Mister Benn until a shopkeeper appeared. Trust me when I say my A levels were not the last thing I failed spectacularly.

Future you is looking back at present you.

Maybe they are punching the air right now from a life that went 100% right. Expected. Or putting an arm around your shoulder while people cry and yell. This rite of passage is not about whether you pass or fail or get distinction. You are not being winnowed like grain, even though it might feel like it.

Open your window and look out at the world.

This is not about whether you pass or fail. Chances are you will never need to know the subtext of An Inspector Calls. Trig will no longer be as useful as your maths teacher claimed. The only co-sign you'll need in a few years will be on your bank account. The friends you thought you could never live without will drift away.

And the you that doesn't exist yet, gestating these long years inside of you will emerge into that world out there.

And be fucking fabulous darling.

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