I’m not the only one who has ever felt this way – in fact, I’m far from it. The truth is that we’ve all struggled with tying ourselves to expectations and finding ourselves unable to move on after those expectations were (inevitably) not met. As someone who has struggled through a lot of disappointments, I want to share my experience of trying to break free from tying myself to expectations, so you can avoid making some of the same mistakes that I did.
What are expectations?
Expectations are what we expect the other person in a relationship with us to do or say. They're how we want our relationships to be. And then, when those expectations aren't met, it's easy for us to feel like we've been let down. We have this sense that they didn't care enough about us, or they weren't good enough for us.
How did I get myself into this mess?
I tied myself to expectations. Everywhere I looked, there were messages that said be the best or succeed at all costs. It was easy for me to believe them because no one ever told me what it was like not to succeed. So, when my first job didn't work out, when I got passed up for a promotion, or when people in my life let me down, it felt like the end of the world.
Why are expectations harmful?
Expectation is a word that is thrown around quite a bit. It's usually used in the context of what someone expects to happen. However, expectations can also be harmful if you tie yourself to them too tightly.
Think about it this way, have you ever had an expectation that was so much more important than anything else in your life? That once you achieved the goal you would feel complete, whole, or happy?
What are some ways to break free from expectations?
Breaking free from expectations can be difficult, but there are a few ways you can do it:
- Practice self-care. You are in charge of your well-being, not anyone else.
- Take time for yourself away from people who drain you or constantly set you up for disappointment.
- Remember that your worth is not tied to what others think of you - no one has the power over how you feel about yourself except for you.