How and Why I'm Deleting Facebook (And How You Can Keep In Touch With Me)

For years I've passively watched Facebook grow and occupy an increasingly larger part of my time and life. I've joined it in 2009 while I was still in high school just to chat with a few foreign friends, and within months I ended up adding all of my class mates and e-mail contacts.

When I went to university, the only mean of sharing documents and keeping in touch with my colleagues was to use a dedicated Facebook group. And the more we used it, the more features we discovered.

At one point, we even coined the term "if it's not on Facebook, then it didn't happen" – which implied that we were all socially-pressured to post photos and text descriptions of our activities on the network, so everyone could see and validate with their thumbs up. Then it got to the point where you didn't exist without a Facebook account, and not being on the network meant that you were basically excluded from plenty of social events.

In the meantime, we've seen many initiatives express concern over Facebook's data collection and participation in governmental surveillance, and maybe that Edward Snowden's treacherous statements have been the most revealing. The internet doesn't forget and doesn't forgive, we're all part of a large data-hungry machine, and our social norms change in a friendly and smiling way in order to obliterate the only element which grants us freedom from oppressive governments and greedy corporations: privacy.

Why delete Facebook when the alternative services are exactly the same?

I can't possibly deny the convenience of having everything in one place. If I want to make a quick VoIP call, then I use messenger. If I want to share a picture with my friends and see what they think, then I'll just upload it in the photo album. If I want to create a poll and see what my buddies think about a particular topic, the process is extremely easy. If I want to read the news or talk to enthusiasts from a particular field, then I can just do it with the click of a mouse.

Facebook has grown tremendously, and its functions are so convenient that we forget about alternatives. And the thought process behind all this is very simple: the more time we spend scrolling through the newsfeed, the more exposed we are to seeing advertisements – which pretty much means that the company is making more money. In their greedy quest for fortune and monopoly, they have modified their algorithms multiple times just to make sure that the content that we see is most likely to appeal to us. The more we enjoy what we're seeing, the more likely we are to spend a lot of time on the network, right? Well, that's ethically wrong and proven to create echo chambers that are dangerous for our democracies and communities: not being able to see an opposing view and being empowered to block anything uncomfortable creates a state of toxic complacency.

Now it's hard to find a company whose ethics are any better when it comes to profit, and whose services improve on the Facebook recipe: but just like we choose the lesser evil during electoral cycle, in capitalism we have a moral duty to support the product which better fulfils our needs and expectations while remaining true to our core beliefs. Just like we can stop buying Nike shoes for making use of Chinese sweatshops to reduce production costs, we can also put an end to our Facebook dependency by choosing to use competitive alternatives. We're bound to constantly make choices, and we must always pick the products and services which we find most appealing.

Also, it's a bad idea to leave your personal data all in one place. By using Facebook to check in to the restaurant, post pictures, chat with your friends, and have political debates, you allow the platform to profile you and make connections between the disparate data you're providing. They will know how many times you talk to that crush of yours, what your daily habits are, and how they can label you as a voter. These are all sensitive data which can be precious for various more or less malevolent actors.

By putting your eggs in different baskets (checking in with Foursquare, posting pictures on Tumblr, using Signal to chat with your friends, and debating on Reddit), you retain a greater degree of anonymity and have lower risks of damaging your reputation. Remember: the internet never forgets and every bit of data can be framed to defame you and tarnish your reputation. It's enough for an influential person to spread a rumor that's based on a conversation you've had while you were drunk texting, and all of your professional life will crumble in less than a day. You don't even need a bad record to consider leaving Facebook, Google, and other all-inclusive monopolistic services, it's a matter of being cautious and truly caring about your public image in this digital era.

But these aren't the only reasons why I want to get away from Facebook. To put it plainly, I want my peace of mind, my privacy, and a network of people of whom I care deeply.

To be honest, I'm sick and tired of having too many contacts and exchanging meaningless interactions. I remember seeing how my parents would make calls to their friends and loved ones during public holidays, and how sometimes I would find postcards in the mail box. All of this is lost and feels void of meaning on Facebook – you congratulate your friends on their birthdays by sending a funny gif, you tag your loved ones in a Christmas postcard, but none of these actions require any effort. Instead of proving that you care about those people and you're showing some dedication, you actually appear to be annoying.

Maybe that five years ago I used to pursue connections without caring much about the likeliness of ever meeting them. I would spend 15 minutes a day sending "Happy birthday" messages to all of my virtual friends and do my best to build a reputation. As I grow older, I realize that my pursuit follows qualitative criteria, not quantitative ones. I'd much rather have something meaningful than a superficial exchange.

If someone ever needs me for professional reasons, I have an e-mail address and a phone number. I'll still keep LinkedIn as a public CV, write posts on Twitter, and sometimes upload pictures on Tumblr. The plan was never to commit digital suicide, but to diversify the services that I'm using and build a more meaningful network of people.

Also, I care about my privacy. Not because I have anything to hide (though anyone can be blackmailed and defamed one way or another by having their bad jokes taken out of context), but because I want to feel free to express myself and grow. To me it's enough that I have to be silent and obey social norms while I'm in public places. When I'm on the internet I want to be able to express myself freely and anonymously – not because I infringe something that's written in the criminal code, but because I regard it as an extension of my freedom of speech. If real identity is the norm, then lots of ideas never get shared and we end up having a censored society that's very much akin to the days of the Catholic Church's inquisition.

The Alternatives

The problem with Facebook is that it conveniently provides to you all the services that you need in your day to day activities. They want you to spend as much time as you can scrolling the newsfeed, so they've added plenty of functions to keep you from ever using another website. For reasons I've previously mentioned, this is dangerous and we're all part of an immense data collection experiment whose scale is truly unprecedented.

By using alternatives, you can't possibly have all the functions replaced by one service – and that's one of the biggest advantages you can have.

Do you want to send private instant messages without having your data sold to advertisers? Just use Signal or Telegram, they both provide solid end-to-end encryption and they're both based on business models that aren't as greedy as Facebook's.

Want to write short posts about the events in your daily life? Just build a free Wordpress website and/or join Steemit. The former offers lots of customization and the ability to build something unique, while the latter is more convenient and offers quick monetization through the STEEM cryptocurrency.

Do you plan to read the news and engage in debates? Twitter and Reddit are your best friends. You're also less likely to get exposed to fake news, which is always a plus.

Miss the dedicated Facebook groups where entire communities of specialists and fans gather? Well, they also post on dedicated subreddits and forums that you can find online. As a matter of fact, the content is better in these alternate places, as you're less likely to find spam, trolling, and bots.

Want to upload your vacation pictures and who them to your friends? Just join Tumblr or Flickr. They have better privacy features than Facebook and allow you to create completely anonymous accounts where real identity isn't the imposed norm.

Last but not least, you should use Proton Mail for e-mail communication. Don't trust services that aren't end-to-end encryption, as every trusted third party can be a security hole which leaks your sensitive data.

Where you'll find me after my Facebook account gets deleted

I have Twitter, LinkedIn, Signal, Telegram, a personal blog/website, Steemit, and ProtonMail. I don't plan to get rid of any of these, as they all serve their own different purposes. The plan is to carry on with my day to day activities without giving away all of my data to Facebook.

If you'd like to contact me, you can just write me an e-mail or give me a call. It's that simple, really. I know that writing a quick Facebook Messenger text is very convenient and has a lot of functions, but let's stop feeding this hungry Big Brother.

I might even move some pictures on Tumblr, but that's something I'm still considering.

The bottom line is that leaving Facebook doesn't have to imply digital suicide. You can still enjoy the services and contacts outside it. However, we've become so addicted to the services of FB that it's very hard to migrate away from the platform. That's why my transition will most likely take 1-2 months and I'll make sure to message all of my friends personally and inform them about my departure and communication alternatives.

We need to make a change somehow, and it all has to start from somewhere. If we all chose to receive services from companies that are more ethical, we'd be much more developed both socially and technologically. Until then, we'll get treated like a dumb flock of sheep who get overexcited whenever the next feature for mass surveillance gets added.

So if you still want to keep in touch with me, write me an e-mail at vladcostea [at] protonmail [dot] com, mention your name and how we know each other, and I'll send you all the details on how we can keep in touch :)