The Saga of B; Part I

This is a long story, so we'll have to see how many posts this takes.

It all starts about a year ago, when I really got involved in Steemit, etc, because of @nicnas, @tuck-fheman, @bigpchef and what would become the @spl.

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Long, Long Ago

I was a swimmer in high school. Then a lifeguard and swim teacher for years after. I was never a 'jock', I just loved swimming and helping people... and I'm hella competitive, lol. When I became a mother, physically things changed, but I was still active, walking to and from school up to four times a day (being PTA President requires MUCH activity), and by May/July of 2017 I was completely burnt out on allll of that shit and ready to do something I wanted... which turned out to be playing poker and bullshitting in the SPL Discord.

At the same time, I was offered a job at the non profit I currently work for. An office job, sitting at a desk. Suddenly, where my life had been running around from activity to activity, I was now sitting at a desk for 15 hours a day. Doing things I loved, but still...sitting. all. day. long.

In January of 2018, I started to get these weird rashes on my arms and feet. I figured my sedentary lifestyle was catching up with me and I was dying. Like, I sincerely had NO idea what was happening. I was too busy to go to the doctor, so in true martyrdom, I simply suffered in silence.

_{seriously, just kill me.}

February Or Something

My husband and I wake up and just chill in bed, talking. Suddenly he leaps out of bed and goes into his office, not saying anything. I just stayed in bed. Whatever, I'm not a big leaper.

He comes back into the room and tells me to get out of bed. Like, nearly angry. I don't tend to take orders well so I was all, 'dafuq?' but quickly I realized he was serious. So I got the fuck out of bed, and he demanded I go take a shower. Again, the rebel in me had to shut the fuck up in order to go take a shower, but go take a shower I did.

I ended up getting ready for work and leaving. When I came home that night, our room was ripped apart. The tapestry above our bed was gone (I really liked that tapestry, btw), our sheets were off, the bed was pulled out and everything had obviously been cleaned and moved. Once again, I was like, 'dafuq?' and he tells me the news; we have bed bugs.

_assholes

Mother Fucking Bed Bugs

Bed Bugs are vampires. Most bugs on this planet just want to leave you alone. Bed bugs want to suck all of the blood out of you until you're dead. Good thing that they're tiny otherwise... shit. I don't even want to think about it.

So this 'rash' I had? Yeah. Bed bug bites. By the time we figured out what the hell was going on, we were infested. After that initial freak-out clean by my husband, we told our landlord. We were a little worried and figured he'd be... I dunno, mad? Shocked? Ready to kick us out? Perhaps. He was none of those things. Oh, he said. Yeah, your neighbors to the left and to the upstairs-right had them and we sprayed back in DECEMBER.

_SCREAM

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Visuals

Here's muh building:

_{don't judge me, i'm not a DRAWERER, okay?}

What happened is this. The people in apartment 3 and 5 are family; sisters. The sister in apartment 5 has kids, who obviously spend lots of time going back and forth to and from Aunties. The family in apartment 3 had a visitor from overseas who... can you guess? yep had the bedbugs!! Obviously the bugs spread from apartment 3 to apartment 5.

See how my fam and I are all comfy-cozy in the middle there? When my slumlord 'landlord' sprayed 3 and 5, they not only didn't spray our apartment as they're supposed to do ('adjacent apartments' is what the law says), they didn't even tell us to watch for bugs, breaking the law in two places. What you end up with is this:

The bugs fled the spray and feasted upon yours truly. Now, I know I'm delicious and all but seriously. I don't like being bit THAT much.

What happened next, B? Well, that'll have to wait till later, cuz I need to take my kids to the pool in my homeless shelter.

Here's a pic of Puck ready to go swimming:

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Catch ya on the flip,

xoxoxo, b.