The Boy Who Was A Little Different

in family •  7 years ago 

I knew of this boy, whom parents divorced when he was only four.

Now, at that age, he was confused. When he went to school, when he tagged along for grocery shoppings, when he visited his cousins, he noticed that mommies and daddies were always together. He could not understand why his own mommy and daddy lived separately – first in different rooms, then in different houses, later in different families.

In his puzzlement, he tried to look for answers. He asked his dad a few times why couldn’t mommy and daddy live together, and despite his young age, he could see that even his father did not know the answer. Matters only got worse when his grandparents and uncles and aunties intervened, enrolling him as an agent to patch up his parent’s broken relationship. At four, the boy couldn’t understand beyond the changing of cartoon channels and where the next Lego piece should go.

Sometimes he would look out of the balcony, and remembering not so long ago, he had a grandma who although was very sickly, was always there to satisfy some of his curiosity. Grandma had been a teacher, so patience was her virtue, and she just had ways to explain things he could easily understand.

But grandma has gone away. And one of his great teachers was lost. Sadly, grandma had also another student, his own father, and he too, was misguided for a while. "Lost in mourning", he once heard an aunty said, but being four, he did not know what it meant.

As the boy tried to move on, so did his dad. Recognizing his dad as one who would pursue rather than wait, in time he has found a girlfriend, who happens to be a single mom too. Before long, the boy has a new, cute, younger sister he could play with on weekends, and he has an aunt that plays with him at the back of the car when the ride was long and the days were dark. He has found a kind of new happiness, one that was different, and yet, compared to his friends, his days still seemed abnormal.

He could sometimes feel his teachers questioning with their eyes, and whispered gossip. His teachers loved him still, but like him, they were just curious. He longed for days when daddy picked him up from school as he’s usually early, and that meant he would not be the last to be left behind waiting on the bench. A quiet dinner with dad, who he could play Lego with, and share a tale or two, was a norm for him. Dad, often quiet in the presence of his mom, would sometimes seem impatient. The boy somehow knew his dad was going through the changes too, and with his young, innocent heart, he forgave easily.

Sometimes the young boy looked out the balcony, the same his grandma loved to look out of, and wondered about his future, about being different. Amidst the confusion and uncertainty, there were a few assurance that deep down, he knew.

One, mommy and daddy, though not together, loved him still, and even more than before. He knew that from the hugs and kisses he got, and the safety he felt before he slept at night.

Two, in time, the answers will come. Just like how he anticipated the new set of Lego he’s getting come his birthday, one day, perhaps on one of his birthdays, he will finally understand why his family was not like others.

Three, he was capable of making his own destiny. One day, he will too have a family, and he will learn from the mistake of the past, and create a future that is bright, sure and pleasant.

The road ahead seemed uncertain for the boy, yet, a light of hope shines bright from the horizon, and that put a big smile on his face.

I know of this boy, because he’s my son, Will. And I look forward to seeing his smile when I pick him up from school tomorrow, and the new set of Lego models we will be building together.

Sometimes it happens. You can see the world through the eyes of another.

Tonight, I feel through the heart of my son.

EPILOGUE:

That was written like three years ago, and much has changed for the boy, my son.

For one, he had outgrown his Lego and Hotwheels phase. He's slowly learning with way on his laptop now, making presentations about his recent travel adventures, or the games he's playing. Of course, that also meant Minecraft has been upgraded up from pocket size. Occasionally, dad will play retro games like Worms 2 with him.

Then, there's Aunty @deborism now, because the previous relationship did not work out. He could blame his dad for it, but deep down, he knew he enjoyed @Deborism's company more, mainly because she actually had proper "adult" conversation with him, challenging his world views. Sure, you could say deep conversations like that might fuck up his thinking at 8 years old, but I like to think it stretched his thought process and deepened his experience.

In a way, I think he's also learning about successes and failures of relationships at a young age. One of his best friends's parents is going through a separation now, and he seemed to be able to better understand the unsaid. Sure, in an ideal world, divorce is a foreign concept, but truth is, values do change over time, and rather than having parents living in a relationship of silent depression, it could be healthier if mommy and daddy are happier, making them better parents too.

In time, that earlier awkwardness is gone, and he doesn't feel as different from others anymore. He learned to mature faster though, which makes me happy. As much as I want him to have a normal childhood like others, but normal is a very subjective term nowadays. As a parent, I would rather he had the wisdom to make sense of a fast-changing world, the attitude to strive hard for something he believed in, and the faith in people - that humans are born noble, but they just lost their way.

Truth be told, as Will's dad, I would only know how he would work out in the next few years to come. With him growing up in single-parent family, going through a slightly unconventional education (he goes to a resource center to be home-schooled), and with a dad named Maverick, I hope that he has the mental flexibility to cope with what life decides to throw at him.

Frankly, in the still of the night, I do question if I had been responsible for him feeling a little different. Guess I have to do another epilogue to this piece in a few years to come, possible a future where we are all nomadic as a family, hopping from one country to another, experiencing different cultures, perceptions, and lifestyles.

Wait… isn't that… different?


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Hi maverickfoo.. Your story makes me sad to feel the sadness of the boy ,, I pray that his son and father can live happily ever after,, It really touched my heart

Only time will tell, but I'm hopeful :)

At the end of your post you always thanked people, who stopped by and read your post. But i think you made them stopped. The way you expressed the story it feels like I've suffered the same way the boy did or the father.
My best wishes to the boy and his beloved father. May God give them full of happiness and success in life. Thank you @Mavericfoo

Hey, thanks for the kind words. Yeah, we're doing ok. Over time, I realized there are many single-dads too, which is not really the happiest of discoveries. But life goes on, eh?

We can never truly know what will happen to our children when they grow up. We can only try and give them the best part of ourselves, it seems like you are really doing a good job and challanges, they makes who we are.

People often ask me what "startup idea" I'm working on. I said I had one that's a life long project, very hard to raise funds, harder even to have a big market exit, haha!

Suddenly went 'deep' but I appreciate the honesty and rawness of everything. Coming from a broken family,a all I can say is that the past is the past. That's where it belongs. Be good father. That's the best you can do now. All the best brother.

Thanks for the kind words, @vetz. Yeah, I did not come from the happiest of family either, but we make do with what we have.

what a warmly story.. thank you for sharing this private thoughts!

You're welcome. A friend encouraged me to be more honest with your feelings and thoughts, and I figured writing is a good extension and expansion of them.

I enjoyed this very personal glimpse of you and your son @maverickfoo
Thank you for sharing.

And thanks for reading :) Have a nice weekend, @dianelyndon.

nice

  ·  7 years ago Reveal Comment