Happily ever after.

in family •  5 years ago 

In this article you will learn:
What components make family life truly happy;
How a woman can achieve satisfaction and happiness;
What a mistake can ruin everything.

Components of a happy family life
The quality of any complex product depends on the quality of its components. The more fragrant, tastier, fresher we take the products, the tastier, richer, more aromatic our dish will turn out. And the classic correctly noted: all happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

So what are these components?

Having removed esotericism, metaphysics, the complex laws of psychology, we remain in fact with only three components of family life.

The first is me, my energy, my resource.
The second is our common field with our husband, common strength, resource.
The third is a vector, that is, where we direct first our personal and then the common resource, to which we strive.
Let's take a closer look at them.

  1. "I myself"
    Let's start with the question. You noticed that a woman asks herself: “How can I be happy?” Often after the questions “How to make a husband happy?” And “How to make my child happy?” And this is more than sad, because in fact it means that the woman herself spit deeply.

Many ideas are walking on the Internet that a happy woman makes a man successful, children - self-sufficient. And this idea becomes a guiding light for many. After all, I can be happy so that they feel good. I can take a bath so my husband gets a higher salary. I can take care of myself so that my child grows happy. Unfortunately, under this happy mask lies the same sacrifice, only now - decorated with pink feathers and a satin peignoir. In fact, what does a woman have to do with all these actions? With the expectation of its fruits. With the feeling that they are about to raise their salaries, conditions are about to become better, the child will at least differ from others with his happy eyes and the feeling that his mother really loves him.

In other words, it is the same dependence on others, only with a plus sign. And, like any other addiction, it blocks inner freedom, energy, inspiration to create one’s own heart.

Therefore, the greatest courage for a woman in the family will be precisely sincerity. Sincerity to answer the question “Why am I doing everything?” Sincerity to hear my answer. Honestly ask yourself: “Where am I in all of this, what specifically is for me, my happiness, well-being?” Crossing myself out is only enough for a while - sooner or later it will come to an understanding that without you the relationship will collapse, without you the passion goes out, tenderness and warmth disappear without you.

The honest, deep question “Where am I in my life and who am I in it?” Begins a taste for life, love, work, relationships.

  1. General field
    What happens in families after a woman takes care of herself, takes time for what is interesting, pampered herself with pleasure and usefulness?

Firstly, by doing so, every woman creates her own female field. That is, she herself begins to feel such a state, such a mood of satisfaction, prosperity, satiety - physical and emotional, which is transmitted to the people around her, big and small.

Secondly, this field begins to increase, involving those who are closest to the woman. And who is closest to a harmonious and full woman? That's right, the only and beloved man. The more beautiful and delightful you feel, the more he feels his significance next to you.

Although there are options too.

Feminine nature, one way or another, brings its mistress to satisfaction and happiness (of course, if you accept it) But there are two ways to do this.

Option one. A woman is happy, but without her beloved man, in isolation from him. The extreme case of this manifestation is a divorce and a maiden name, and this, alas, also has a place to be. But before the final break occurs, it is preceded by micro-breaks in relations, more or less significant. What happens in these cases? A woman does not feel happy next to her man. But, starting to take care of himself, he feels happy without him. Her intrinsic value is slowly growing, but this happens in contrast to the experience that a woman had with her beloved man. That is, in a relationship with him, she often lives resentment, misunderstanding, pain, bitterness. And therefore, when the experience of love and self-care begins to appear, separation naturally occurs. I felt bad with you, you did not make me happy - and without you, I feel much better. In principle, this is a natural stage, and if desired, it is simply possible and necessary to go further.

The second option, which usually follows as a continuation of the first. Continuing to fill herself, to take care, the woman realizes that her beloved man does not get her fullness. There are reasons for this - unrequited situations, feelings, thoughts. It is also usually found that a woman expects the result of her fullness - now a lot of information is devoted to the fact that a woman, filling herself, receives benefit through her man. However, often this knowledge has a certain mystical connotation, in fact, everything is much simpler and more understandable. So, for a woman who realizes that she lives in isolation from her beloved, a desire may arise to combine two experiences into one. That is, your experience of fullness with the experience of communicating with a man. It is not given immediately, it is built up like a ladder, gradually. But the result is exactly what you begin to feel next to your man rich, full, sexy. What happens to your loved one at such a moment? He begins to value himself, as he sees that he can make his beloved woman happy. Increasing the sense of significance, confidence “I can”, the feeling of being able to cope with life problems here in the family, becomes for him a solid foundation for success in society.
What is most interesting is that this result cannot be achieved artificially. That is, if a woman is essentially unhappy, constantly lives in hardship, does not say that she is really hurt / unpleasant, then neither he nor she will come to the expected result of mutual wealth, prosperity, and realization.

  1. Development vector
    It makes sense to have any charge of energy if it has its own direction, or motion vector. The vector of personal growth begins with the question “Why am I doing this?”

So, gradually shifting the focus of attention from others to herself, the woman learns to feel her desires, is sensitive to changes in her inner nature, allows herself to listen to them and follow them. Each of these actions leads to the formation of a subtle, but nonetheless real tangible energy in the female field. This is the energy of joy without reason, pleasure, pleasure in one’s being. These are the moments in which joy is felt just like that. And this is an important point in which one should apply one's “feminine” quality - acceptance - and put this energy inside oneself. Like the process when the earth receives a new seed, a woman receives the soul of a child from a man and saves it in herself, in her bosom, in order to grow it in herself and give the world fruit.

A common mistake is the woman’s over-openness - the desire to immediately share the energy that she felt inside herself. This is more characteristic of the masculine type of energy, while feminine energy is more in need of conservation, a lean attitude towards itself.

Remember how mothers and grandmothers partedly say: "Take care of yourself"? Take care of what is given to you, then it will be preserved and multiplied, it will grow in you, and the fruits will be given to the world in a natural way.

This is the first moment, energetic. The second point is more coaching. It is connected with the same moment of filling oneself, but it refers to the direction of our actions. That is, to an honest answer to the question “What do I want to achieve with my resource?” At the same time, “I want” should be true. It is important here not to dissemble. It is also important to understand that an undirected action just spreads out, spraying around. On the contrary, an action with a clearly defined vector, energy with a clearly formulated goal becomes the path to victory.

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Nice article I like it.

Thank. I am glad.

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