Boys and girls are different. In infancy and toddlerhood, boys bathe in the tender embrace of mothers and women. Father's love was important at that time, but mother's love was the first. However, in another three to five years, the boy will deliberately distance himself from his mother and strive to establish a male identity. In the absence of the role of dad, the loss of boys is greater than that of girls. Many sociologists believe that if a boy spends most of his time with his mother, he will not know how to be a man when he grows up. If you don't know how to be a man, you will become more and more like a small child. Father's love is a mountain, and mother's love is like the sea. The father must use his actions to tell his son what a real man is.
The study found that the boy’s role in finding a role model for his father in his growth was much more effective than preaching, scolding, punishing, bribing and coaxing. Boys tend to focus on their father's every move, paying attention to every small difference in their behavior and values. If the father often gets angry and insults his wife at home, the son will adopt the same disrespectful attitude towards the mother and other women; if the father often drinks too much, the son may also get into bad habits such as alcohol abuse. If the father is a man who is honest and trustworthy, caring for others, rigorous and self-disciplined, and able to manage his own family attentively, then the boy will also be affected by these qualities and will be more likely to become a man who is responsible to the society and the family in the future. Therefore, a dad must set an example for your little man. This will help cultivate the boy’s personality and autonomy, so that your little man can better adapt to the real world and future society.
Although it is not easy for men to be perfect in the process of raising and educating children, to be a good dad, as long as you work hard, you can do it.
There is a man who likes to drink very much. Every day after get off work, he goes to a nearby tavern for a few drinks. He often drinks until midnight before returning home drunk. One day, a heavy snow fell from the sky, and the snow covered the road with a thick layer. After get off work, he walked to the tavern as usual, and as he walked, he heard strange noises from behind. He looked back and found that it was his son after school. The son was walking along his father's footsteps, and his little face flushed with excitement: "Look, dad, I'm stepping on your footsteps! How interesting!" The son's words shocked his father's heart. He immediately realized: "If I go to the tavern, my son will follow my path, and he will also find the tavern." The father immediately changed his route and walked towards home. Since then, he changed his drinking habit and never went to a tavern again.
In the process of boy's personality development, the development of superego and self-awareness is realized by imitating the role of father as an example. For boys, the role model is to overcome the crisis of personality growth by overcoming the Oedipus complex, and then follow and imitate his father, in the hope of becoming a person like his father in the future.
Dads may not realize that your son is like a never-ending little radar, observing your every move intently, and imitating all the trivial details that you have overlooked. Teaching by example is more important than words and words. Every look, every word, and every action of my father will be captured by the child. If the father himself is not behaving properly, how can he ask the child to behave correctly? Feng Zikai once said: "Children’s hearts are the purest. They are people whose body and mind are fully open. Both good education and bad education are easily accepted. The father is the children’s first teacher. Therefore, the father is right The influence of the children is crucial."
The essence of educating children is to educate yourself, and self-education is the most powerful way for parents to influence children. If you want to train your son into a qualified little man, as a father, you must first become an upright person. The prominent position of the father in the role model of his son should not be underestimated. Therefore, the father should realize that he is a copy of the boy, and if he wants to "copy" to produce satisfactory results, he must portray himself more finely.
As a father, you strive to play the role of role model in your life. At the same time, you also hope that your son will have all the excellent qualities like those outstanding successful people: honesty, optimism, positive and upward, intelligent and capable. However, these hopes of yours are not easily realized. For fathers, precepts and deeds are not only a duty, but also the most suitable educational method for boys. You know, the boy is a man who is still undergoing training, and his instinctive behavior requires his father's methodical temptation. At the same time, communicating with boys and using language to educate naughty and ignorant boys is also a profound art.