Are You Avoiding Yourself? - What is the root cause of your avoidance? Firstly, let's define what avoidance is. Avoidance is an unconscious, fear-based response to some or all of your feelings and experiences. We tend to avoid things in order to keep them private. This means that we often do not feel comfortable with ourselves and our feelings. But if you're able to acknowledge that you're avoiding something, you can work on it.
Sometimes the feelings we experience are a sign that something is missing in our lives. These feelings are an expression of our intuition. Unfortunately, our conditioned response is to avoid these feelings. Often we build layers to protect ourselves from these uncomfortable feelings and thereby distract ourselves from them. It's a common, yet necessary, response to a feeling that you'd like to avoid. If you're not willing to take the time to recognize these feelings and move forward, you'll only end up becoming more reliant on them.
Avoidance may have different facets, such as disliking conflict. Whether you're avoiding a bill or a conversation, avoidance will take up your time and interfere with your relationships. It can also negatively affect your physical health, relationships, and money. It's important to determine what types of avoidance work best for you and what kinds of situations you avoid. You may be surprised to discover that you don't even know you're avoiding.
In addition to understanding your own avoidance coping, you can also look for ways to stop utilizing it. While it can be difficult to break the pattern, identifying it is the first step to a more proactive approach to stress management. By recognizing the signs of avoidance coping, you'll be able to stop the cycle in its tracks. If you can avoid the situation in the first place, you'll soon begin to feel more in control and more productive.
Then, you can start by prioritizing self-care. Self-care doesn't necessarily have to involve a Netflix binge, but it should involve activities that are connecting you to your true self. Schedule these activities in your calendar, just as you would a date or a colonoscopy. When you don't make time for self-care, your inner-guide will continue to look for other places to spend your time. Once you make your inner-guide a priority, you can outsmart your fear and take control of your life.