Redeemed From the Ashes—Chapter 22—The Shadows of Uncertainty Taint

Thro’ all the drama —whether damned or not— Love gilds the scene, and women guide the plot.

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Epilogue

Chapter 22

Throughout the night, Evelyn did not sleep well; she tossed and turned. Images from the day before haunted and disturbed her. When she awoke the next morning, she discovered that black crescent moons had taken home below her eyes during the night. She rubbed her hands down her face.What a night!

Slowly she descended the stairs, pausing every three steps. She met her mother at the breakfast table for some tea, bacon, eggs, and fruit.

“Good morning, oh, dear, what happened to you?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“I hope it was not upon my account.”

“No, no, it was something...oh, never mind. It was nothing.” She decided to not tell her mother about the unwanted stalker she had seen. Perhaps it had been Mr. Thompson.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” She tried to engage her mother with her brightest smile. However, her brightest smile turned out to be a lopsided weak line. “I must be going after breakfast. I am due back at the hospital this afternoon.”

“I do not think that’s such a wise idea.” 

“Why not?”

“You seem to be...tired, worn out.”

“I must work. I’ll be all right.”

“Take care you get proper rest after your shift.”

“I will.”

After breakfast she wished her mother and Martha a good day and exited the house. As she walked down the short path to the front gate, she noticed Mr. Thompson pruning some rosebushes.“Mr. Thompson?”

“Oh, yes, good morning, miss.”

“I know this is such a strange question to ask you but...”

“Yes?”

“At what time did you retire last night?”

“Well, let’s see. I think it was about nine o’clock.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sure as the sky is blue.”

“Of course.”

“Mind if I ask you why you asked such a question?”

“Mr. Thompson, this is a delicate matter that I prefer my mother didn’t know about. Can I trust you to keep the knowledge I am about to impart to you to yourself?”

“I can keep secrets.”

“Last night at eleven o’clock I saw a man standing near the front gate watching the house. I had the wild idea it might be you, but it seems you have disproved that idea.”

“A man you said?”

“Yes, I couldn’t see his features...or anything really. Although it was quite light outside, he was standing in the shadows beneath the boughs of the maple tree over there.”

“Are you sure he wasn’t just some man strolling outside on a lovely evening?”

“I’m quite sure. Regrettably, I will be going now. Please, watch over my mother, and do not tell her about this; it will rattle her nerves. I do ask you to make sure no harm comes to her.”

“I promise you, miss. Nothing or no one will touch her. She’ll be safe with me.”

“Thank you. Now I must be on my way, good day.”

“Good day, miss.”

Confident that Mr. Thompson would keep his promise of seeing to her mother’s safety and well being, she opened the gate and strolled out. 

***

When she arrived at the ferry, John wasn’t there. Instead, another man was managing the transportation.“Hello, there. Ready to board?”

“Why, yes” She entered the ferry. In a few minutes, they set off. She ambled near the front. “Pardon me?”

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if you can tell me what has happened to John today.” 

“Are you a relative?”

“No, a friend.”

“Well, he had to stay home today because the man he has been taking care of is getting worse.”

“He hasn’t exited his room at all?”

“Yes, he has, but he’s not eating. He occasionally drinks water or milk during the day.” 

“Poor man!”

“Yes, indeed, so John decided to stay with him and bring the village doctor to him. He thought perhaps the doctor could talk some sense into him, tell him just how it is.”

“I see, and you are?”

“I’m a close friend of John’s. My name’s Walter.”

“Are you by chance the friend from whom he borrows that beautiful automobile?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Oh, I must tell you your car is splendid.”

“Thank you.”

She and Walter chatted on gaily until they reached the other shore. Their simple conversation lifted her spirits a little. She bid him adieu and hailed a cabbie to bring her to North Park St. where she could enter the Commons. She strolled to Egg Pond yet again and sat upon the bench she and Gerald usually shared. As she sat down, she could almost feel his presence beside her, his arm cradling her. Now she was glad she had their bench to herself so that she could think about yesterday’s events. She was thoroughly confused. She wasn’t so sure if she wanted to see her beau yet. She ached for him; yet the thought of his seeing another woman was repulsive. Her thoughts stormed and whirled. Eventually she left to go to work.

***

Almost as soon as she entered, Gerald asked her to follow him to the operating room.

Oh, no.

He was the last person she wanted to see at the moment. She was not sure how to act around him when she knew his secret, yet she answered his beckoning by doing as he asked. 

She arrived at the sight of a woman under anesthetics. She heard Gerald tell all the staff they had to remove her appendix. She went through the motions of preparing herself and helping Gerald by handing him each surgical instrument he requested. As he moved his hands, she could hear her heart pounding alongside his. She didn’t dare look up for fear she would freeze and stare at his dapper features, be held captive, and consequently make a fool of herself in front of the present staff. So on and on they went working together yet separated by unsaid words. 

After Gerald dismissed everyone, she made sure to fall into single file with all the other staff so that he couldn’t lay his hand on her arm, reach out to her, and ask to talk about her silence. He would not dare touch her in front of everyone; so she was safe. 

She continued to busy herself throughout the rest of the day, making sure she wasn’t alone for too long. She met Betsie in the main hall after her day’s work. Evelyn wanted to leave immediately, but Betsie was finishing a quick chat with the receptionist. 

Just as the two were saying their goodbyes, Gerald strode into the main hall. “Nurse Richardson, may I please speak with you for one moment?”

So formal, yet that is how they agreed to address each other at work, the way it was supposed to be. She neared him and then gestured him to step away from the few single people standing around so that no one could really hear her response. She did not want to disrespect him in public.“I’m sorry, I cannot right now. Betsie and I are quite tired and need some rest, goodbye.” She then left his side to leave the building with Betsie as he tilted his head to the side and shook it.

“Well, what just happened?” Betsie asked Evelyn with genuine concern. 

“I’m not sure what you are talking about.”

“You know you do, Evelyn. What happened during your small trip to Dartmouth? And why did you just leave Gerald standing there? It is not like you to act so, even if you were merely friendly acquaintances. I thought you would have been happy to reunite with your mother after a few months.”

“I was and am.”

“Something else happened, didn’t it?”

Evelyn did not need to confirm. Her sunken eyes and grim-lined mouth said so. She recounted to her friend everything she had seen before she had gone to her mother’s home.

“That’s why you’ve been avoiding him.”

“Is it that noticeable?”

“Quite from my perspective, of course. I don’t think others notice. You two have done good work keeping your courtship hush, hush.”

“I just...do not know what to say to him.”

“Have you thought that maybe he had a good reason for his strange behaviour?”

“What good reason could there be?”

“Oh, you never know with men. I know they say it is hard to read women, but sometimes it is hard for us to read them, as well.” 

“I need some time to think.”

“Just make sure you don’t take all the time in the world to think. You might lose a good thing. Dear Evelyn, tell him the honest truth. Don’t try to hide yourself from him because the truth is going to come out sooner or later.”

“You’re right. I will talk to him...in the morning.”

When one relationship had been mended, another was in danger of breaking. She was not sure if she could go through the same pain and agonizing mental exhaustion again so soon.

Once they arrived home, they cooked a good meal and enjoyed it very much. However, Evelyn’s creme brulee suffered terribly from having been burned. Feeling quite down and not knowing what to do, she decided to return to the hospital to speak with Clyde, whom she had missed dearly.

***

She tiptoed down the hallway, not wanting to alert anyone of her late night presence. As she neared Gerald’s office door, movement from within stopped her in her tracks. Her body froze in place for fear he would know she was there and would want to talk to her; she heard his steps approaching the door. She sucked in a sharp intake of air. For a minute she didn’t move because he had not. When she had produced no sound for a while, she heard his footsteps retreat to his desk; and she quietly escaped her precarious spot. She smuggled herself into Clyde’s room and ran to give him a large embrace. “Hello, there.” She caressed him immediately, craving to show the sweet child the love he deserved.

“Hello, Evelyn. I’ve missed you.”

“And I have missed you.”

“What is the report on relations with your mother?”

“All is well.”

“Thank the Lord. I’ve been praying for you ever since the last time I saw you.”

“Thank you. I know you care.” No longer did she spite the idea of others praying for her. She had come to appreciate this gesture. She still wasn’t sure if any good came out of it, but she hoped that one day she would find out.

“Tell me everything, please.” He clasped her hand.

She wove the true tale of how mother and daughter had finally put aside their differences for something greater; but she left out the part where another worry had started to infiltrate her mind. She did not want to incriminate Gerald; for she knew he had a close bond with this same boy, as well. “When do you and Doctor MacCrae usually return home these nights?”

“Very late and I don’t mind so much. I usually fall asleep, and then he wakes me up to let me know that it’s time to go home.”

“Oh,” Evelyn had to leave soon. What awkwardness would come if he found her in here! “I must leave, Clyde. I need to sleep for tomorrow’s work.”

“You know...he spoke much about you. He admires you very much. He told me how I was lucky to have such a good friend as you.”

This confession closed in around her and almost brought about suffocation. Did he really think that highly of her? The thought was flattering to the least, but she was not sure what to do with that kind of information.

“Goodnight, Evelyn.”

“Goodnight, sweet dreams.”

She fled from the room and the hallway and out into the starry night. What a turmoil of thoughts and feelings residing within her! She wanted to come through alive, intact, yet she was almost certain she would sport some battle scars and wounds. What was she willing to risk to find love? What was she willing to risk to keep love? Although the thought scared her, she could not hide it or lie to herself anymore. She had found love again in a place where she had least expected it. Even though she was in danger of getting hurt by this love, she wanted more. She prayed Gerald would have a reasonable explanation for his actions which he had exhibited two days ago because she truly believed her heart would break if...he did not.