Practically Human A Humorous SciFi Fantasy [Nanowrimo]

[voice log 25: I ...I cant believe this is happening! I got an invite to xx0xx ! They sent this suuuper encrypted text that turned out to be an 8bit image of a frog and in small letters at the bottom the words “your presence is requested. fabulous dress required. 3800 green st. seattle, wa. pass:mr.fog. I was like. Oh my goood its all happening! I’m not sure what time to go but I feel frisky at night. Plus my... ug, parents will be snoring by 9 pm. Plebes. My mom always tries to set me up with boobie-traps so she’ll know if I’ve left. But I track all of her phone calls and of course she tells everyone about it.]

The text of this script had been repeating on Neyon’s screen all night. She passed out working again. Her creator, Father Oni, loved this type of character flaw and made his children “practically human in every natural way.” The only problem with that was that Father Oni ignored the old adage that humans are developed through both nature and nurture. Neyon dreamt about Father Oni, a devout and relentless perfectionist. She dreamt about how he spent all of his time creating his children but didn’t bother to raise them other than a basic set laws from the early 21s Century when the United States was still, well, united. Murder, rape, stealing, hurting kids were all clearly bad. There were other, secondary laws that were less clear and applied depending on the person, location, and how a cop was feeling that day. These basic commands guided Neon on her path through a wholly emotionless upbringing. Every night like this one she relived her time at the special boarding school developed specifically for young women of above average intelligence and physical prowess. While she excelled in both sports and academics; she somehow managed to avoid long term interaction with any of her teammates or classmate. She simply kicked ass-- and then went to her room. That room was her solace so of course she returned there in her dreams often. It was simple, tidy, and predictably empty.

Neyon jolted awake-

“What the__?? why is this--?” She grumbled to herself. She couldn’t even comprehend the day until she hit her cognition switch. Wednesday, July 27th 2067 flashed in front of her eyes. She instantly had access to a plethora of information that she had stored in her deep drive. While Neyon was practically human in every natural way, she wasn’t exactly natural in the mind. Neyon's mind was instead a very advance computing system that allowed her access to human traits; to think like a human, to walk and talk like a human, even feel as a human does. Of course her emotions could be turned on and off with the touch of a button. But as a girl who grew up avoiding such things as feelings and relationships due to having no family contact and a highly sarcastic attitude she never explored them outside of physical sensation. To her, these feeling things were just more information. Meant to alert her of imminent danger and unsettling weather conditions. That said, she did eventually have communications with others when she began her career as an interglobal crime officer.

That was the great thing about being a very pleasant appearing and physically fit-yet curvy humanoid cyborg. When she uploaded potential answers to small talk that came out snarky and mechanical humans still adored her. Her hair, which she always kept up in a tight bun with two side braids, actually grew in its natural color as a thick, wavy fuschia color that turned light blue in the sun and dark purple in the rain. Neyon only let her hair down when she was at home, researching, or doing the one thing that ever required emotions and or leisure: curling up on her couch with blanket and petting her cat, Purple Cat. Of course she also read numerous scientific texts while she did this and she merely responded to Purple Cat’s verbal cues and vital signs but it was a practically human endeavor. Purple Cat meowed at Neyons feet. This is the cat language for "food now or die" although it always struck neon that the vital signs for companionship were always exhibited during this time. “You can’t trick me Purple Cat. It’s not breakfast time.” Neyon fed herself and her cat at exactly the same times throughout the day, and she even set up timed portions to be delivered when she was out in the city chasing down information and criminals. Neyon had a cyber link to all of her appliances and set them to begin. Coffee, a humanoid weakness that had little to no effect on her, began brewing while fresh fruits and veggies were dumped into a blender by her Mom-Bot 2020.

Mom-Bot 2020 was a clever droid that was bestowed to her upon graduation. As Neyon moved into her new apartment in Downtown Seattle Mom-Bot 2020 suddenly appeared on her doorstep with a note from Father Oni telling her about how he had to go into hiding but that he wanted her to know that he was her father and to trust no one, not even other cops. Neyon sighed as if she almost felt something for the the only family she had yet never knew existed. “Better to stay busy. An idle mind is the devil's plaything.” Neyon said out loud to Purple Cat who was still flirting at her feet, attempting get an early breakfast.

[Voice Log 2: Internet “experts” led me to believe that I was sick. Actually, I let myself believe that. This dictation thing is really weird. But I think it's going to be useful in the future. Somewhere in a grungy basement is a person pretending that they are sitting in a humongous office. Upstairs the family goes on not knowing what kind of life they live on the Internet. And it's only a matter of time before someone finds out. ]

"Finds out what, exactly?!" she yelled at the screen. Neyon slammed her hands on the desk and grunted. She was overworked and didn't have the time to play games with this kid. Her human feely things were acting up. Neyon had been reading this vlog for weeks and all she'd discovered that he was an outcast teenager with a love of makeup, computers, and inter-global espionage. Perhaps love was a strong word. What was love these days anyway? Two ports connecting brain matter? There were so many goddamn dark cyborgs with ticking metal hearts one couldn't even know if love still existed. She'd read something in the kids voice log about holding hands. He believed that love was the electricity formed when two soul mates held hands. "Ug" she said to herself outloud. Humans.