The Popular Depression is a book I wrote in my first year of college.

It was inspired by a cigarette pack on a coffee table that I noticed at a house party.

My eyes were drawn to the Health Canada warning on the box of cigarettes.

I think the statistic about tobacco-related deaths was supposed to be the scary one. But, for some reason, I was more alarmed by the fact more people died by killing themselves than by getting into car accidents.

I never did anything with the book I wrote. Looking back, some of the amateurish writing makes me cringe. But, the concept behind The Popular Depression is an important theme for us to think about.

Here is the twenty-fourth chapter from The Popular Depression.

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Chapter 24

My heart feels sick, and it hurts when I speak… and this is not what I hoped for.

Sitting on her dresser is a picture of Ethan from last year. In her hands is the birthday card he gave her a few months ago. In her head are memories of the good times spent with her son.
Diane has still not heard from Ethan and it is January 7th. School starts back up tomorrow and she has no idea whether or not her son will attend. He has not responded to any of her phone calls… the police have yet to find out where he is.
Over the last few nights Diane has thought a lot about Ron. She wonders what he would do in this kind of situation. She wonders if all of this would have happened if her husband was still around. She questions herself and whether or not she’s a bad mother. She wonders if Cindy will go through the same thing when she grows up.
The tears she has shed over the last few weeks have been endless. Diane’s two children are the most precious things in her life… and she has lost one of them.
She picks up the cordless phone and presses redial. She prays for a different result. No such luck.
“Hey sweetheart… this is mom. I know I’ve been calling you a lot lately but I really miss you Ethan. I haven’t given up hope that you will come home. I forgive you hun, for the cocaine, for everything. And I’m also sorry… I’m sorry that I drove you away. I should’ve sensed that there was something wrong. You don’t understand how much I miss you, Ethan. Your little sister wanted me to tell you that she loves you. Every night she prays that you are safe. Come home Ethan, or at least call. I love you.”

My heart feels sick, and it hurts when I speak… and this is not what I hoped for.

Jared Winston opens his closet and reaches for a box off of the top shelf. The box makes a clinking sound as he pulls it down. He takes the medal off his neck—the fourth one this year—from the Sugar Bowl tournament in Raymond. He puts the box back up on the shelf, knowing that he will be pulling it down again before long.
He takes his clothes off and slides under his covers and into bed. The velvet blanket warms him up and he curls up with it wrapped around him. He closes his eyes and recalls memories of the tournament: his dunk in the opening game, his block on the 6’7” Dutch kid from WR Myers, the disappointing loss in the finals, the fact that he didn’t care because he had a game-high 26 points.
But tonight, something is eating at Jared. He loves the spotlight, but for some reason he wishes that Ethan was still a part of this. He didn’t earn his captain position in a respectable way. He took the easy road by framing Ethan. From what he has heard, Ethan is hooked on cocaine. Jared knows it’s his fault. If he could, he would take it all back. He would work hard at tryouts and try to beat Ethan admirably. But it’s too late, and now he has too much to lose.
He stares at the ceiling and tries to stop his mind from racing so he can get some sleep.

My heart feels sick, and it hurts when I speak… and this is not what I hoped for.

The team just got back from the Sugar Bowl tournament and won a silver medal. Most people went straight home, but TJ Carp opted to stick around and shoot at the CCH gymnasium.
He takes 100 free throws; he makes 82. He’s baffled by how Raymond was able to beat a more dominant Cougars team in the final. He wonders why Ethan got kicked off of the team. He heard it was cocaine, but he doesn't believe it. He knows Ethan isn't like that.
He’s been meaning to ask Ethan what happened, but he hasn’t seen his former teammate around the high school campus much at all over the last month. He questions Jared’s motives lately. It seems as though the captain position has gone to his head and that all he cares about is whether or not he is the game’s high scorer.
As he hits a three-point shot he wonders whether or not something else is going on. TJ knows how much basketball means to Ethan; it doesn’t make sense that the senior would screw up his chance to play. Right now the team needs Ethan more than ever and TJ predicts things aren’t what they seem.

My heart feels sick, and it hurts when I speak… and this is not what I hoped for.

Sitting at her desk in her bedroom, Ethan's English teacher finishes marking the last of her student’s essays. In one pile sits 124 marked essays, most of which have average grades. Next to the pile sits one paper.
Until tonight, the teacher had never given out a mark of 100 per cent. She had always felt that all writing could be improved upon.
She is still baffled that this particular paper proved her wrong. The student who wrote it is smart; however, he is far from valedictorian status. She hears other teachers snickering about how this student is going downhill, and how there is little hope for him.
This paper dug at raw emotion. It was gritty, human and powerful.
After re-reading the paper seven times, the English teacher could think of nothing that would have made the paper stronger.
She puts Ethan Tate’s essay on the top of the pile on the left, and then slides the papers into her briefcase. She can’t wait to give him the good news.

My heart feels sick, and it hurts when I speak… and this is not what I hoped for.

Kneeling beside her bed, Cindy closes her eyes, folds her hands and begins to pray.
“God, please bring my brother back. I miss him so much.”
She then begins to cry.

My heart feels sick, and it hurts when I speak… and this is not what I hoped for.

January 7

I can’t focus on homework; all night he’s been on my mind.

I can’t stop thinking about Ethan Tate.
I have been trying to figure out what happened to him, and nothing is making sense. I heard that he got kicked off of the basketball team. Somebody said he is using cocaine.

I don’t believe it.

I’m going to talk to Ethan and find out what’s really going on. If he’s really addicted to drugs, he needs to know that there are people who are there to help him through it. He needs to know that there are people who love him.

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Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23