View this post on Hive: "Courage, Recklessness and Family" a #finishthestory contest entry
"Courage, Recklessness and Family" a #finishthestory contest entry
6 years ago by felt.buzz (71)
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I am very happy to see you among the participants, @felt.buzz! Now I do not have much time to write and read about Steemit, apart from the haiku contest, but old acquaintances are always welcome!
I like your end: you have kept the initial tone, creating curiosity and not revealing too much ... I have suggestions similar to I am Legend, or The Walking Dead ... in short, I imagined that Manny and Kayla, so hardened, they must teach Thomas to survive in a world populated by zombies or similar.
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That was one of the possibile scenarios in my head as I wrote it! Thanks for your kind words :)
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I had that feeling too, especially with the counting rule.
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Thanks little bug
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You finished this off well, continuing to add dimension to the characters, and keeping within the tone set be the first writer was well-achieved too. I'm also interested about what happens with the hunt. Is it a traditional animal hunt, or are you thinking of something darker like the human hunting that has become popular in fiction recently?
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Thanks! I deliberately left it vague. Readers can make up their own mind. Perhaps they are simply hunting for food, abandoned in the store... Or something else (alien, supernatural, wild animals, humans). Of course just because they are going hunting for one thing doesn't mean they won't find something worse!
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I loved how you portrayed Thomas. Your story talks about a rite of passage, an initiation to the adult age and acceptance between the family's adults. It does it with a great balance between descriptive parts, dialogues, and plot. An enjoyable reading.. It's awesome that you're part of our contest. Cheers! (You left me curious about the hunt, though!)
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Thank you! I've been meaning to join in for a long while. It was fun and the 500 word limit both easy and difficult at the same time!
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Ahh, the 500 words loved/hated limit! It's been studied to train the ability to summarize or, rectius, to help reach the core of the story and focus on the plot. We like to convey a message of quality unbound from the quantity. So far curie appreciated 😉 I can't hide that im so glad to see you with us, matey!
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500 words is good because it is achievable by most people. And then you realise you don't quite have enough to say what it is you need to say! I am glad to be with the bananafish gang! :)
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Nice to read your entry @felt.buzz. Hopefully we'll see you every week, ha, ha. Also, nice to meet Manny's wife Marge and get a character sketch.
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Thank you! :) I will certainly try to make it a weekly event in my writing diary! :)
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the family comes first for me
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Interesting post apocalyptic vibes. I like that you gave Thomas more authority, it showed a development in the relationship between him and Manny.
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Thank you!
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There is a rough tone you carry through from the first half an amplify so perfectly for this very human feeling ending.
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Thank you!
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Well done
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Thanks :)
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Hunting. I like hunting. Well, not this kind. I once, when I was around 12, was in the back of a truck bed. It was a cold night. The people I was with wanted to go rob a store in another town. I'm glad it didn't happen.
Nice to see you around these parts. I hope to get to read another soon.
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Our 43rd Edition awaits the hand of a fearless writer to complete the tale. Will you share with us an ending that only you can tell? Good luck, brave storyteller! 😎
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Thanks! I've just got back from a heavy few days (lots of driving and a funeral) so will take a look tomorrow! :)
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My condolences to you and yours, Felt.Buzz. May your memories bring you comfort through this time. Hugs.
I hope that you're able to de-stress from all of the traveling and have a chance to relax. 😊
-Bris
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