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Terrific story, Felt.Buzz! Your graphic representations of the hatred, jealouies, et al. that consumed him to distraction gives us a strikingly powerful lesson. There aren't any do overs and the truest horror is wasting one's life.

he felt them crawl all over him before jumping off his back and coming together into the form of the walking corpse.

You gave me legitimate shivers with this image! 😎

Thanks!

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Love how you finished the story off. Every good story needs zombies, oh and a great moral of course. Nice touch with the one creature reaching up his nose to pull off a piece of brain to "munch" on.

Thank you!

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If @amirani was an existentially spiritual vision, you are an existential nightmare that haunts Mr Renshi Ren. While I do want to draw parallel to a march of vices/sin and the Xtian tales of hellish experiences which then I take it to a psychoanalytic twist where Mr Renshi Ren is still narcisstic even if he was right to think such. Instead of talking how Mr Renshi Ren thinks himself leader of all things in the village that requires him there (which then I bash Neo-Confucianism / Zen Buddhism here), I shall instead focus on how he basically knew (but didn’t believe) that he basically forfeited his lot in life and how he tortured himself for being foolish to wish death upon someone (in general).

It’s clear with each vice/sin marching, that he begins toturing himself at the sudden realization of what he had been doing. More than that, he realized his lack of communication with society, thus beginning to loose focus and fearing (playing off the anger in the prompt) for the worst. With more thought being put into the vices/sin, the more existential dread and how pitiable his position was in the wide array of his area alone. He only serves to be the high figure, but he had, in his hay day, moralized and developed a class consciousness believing and willing to die for his class position. Looking at the prompt, it’s clear that how he despises any person rivaling his class position. Yet, with not only dreading during his time of meditation, he began worrying about abandoning his position to hopefully be granted a wish.

Yet at the obscenity of seeing an existential nightmare which drags him so away from even his rival, does his began loosing control over himself and letting himself be devoured by failing to meet the rituals of his class. And then, in a classical twist, the ending beast, which really is his Unconsciousness, tells him what he already knows but dares not to believe: he fucked up and now he must live out his punishment. That the failure to do what is required of his class, even when it connects not to actual events, is the worst for those he rules over. As the Partriach of the village, his sense of fatherliness betrayed at the moment he realized what he has done was foolish and not an attempt worth chasing.

Upvot’d-n-resteem’d
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Wow! This comment is way better than my story! :)

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:D :D!!!! ~UwU~ Thanks bb!!!!~ :p :^D
Yer head done spinning to tell me what yah thought about me story?~)
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It seems that all that meditation did not bring calm to Mr. Renhe Ren, after all, but the frightening of the vision to which it is subjected justifies his sudden surrender to emotions.

At least, however, the real enemy is identified, even if it has cost the loss of a large part of his life and all his affections. There are people who can not even hope so much, and they live in unconsciousness their whole life.

Oh this is just brilliant, there is a touch of brutality in how you paint the ending that feels very appropriate for the tone set in the first half, and has the dark vibe of a fable. I was really hoping we'd see a parade of the dead, and you delivered it so very very well! <3

Thank you! :)

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Amazing tale. Dark Stirrings in the mind this caused.

Liked Voted and Resteemed.

Thank you!

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Hi felt.buzz,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

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Well, it's true you don't let him off the hook. But then, that is life. We don't get an eraser. We make our mark and there it is.
Very well told, effective. Does make us stop and think for a moment. That is the function of such a tale, isn't it?

Thank you! :)

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Wonderful story. It's sad that we waste so much time on things that aren't important. By the time we realise that those things were never important. Love how the story ended

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Thank you

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Welcome

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At long last you made plenty to fell for it to the end. Great piece in their and I must say I really enjoyed every second I spent on reading your story

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Thank you!

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You are welcome

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Oof, a strong contendent for my vote this week! haha! I love myself some existencial nightmare (to follow what good @theironfelix said), which feels intense and unsatisfying as every nightmare is; and this did not fail to (dis)please me. An ill retribution for ill-intentioned thought and action.

I also liked how this rival loses all importance from the start of your entry, leaving us with the only "bad guy" in the story, careless, hateful Mr Ren. This is not one who will go down the path of balanced living, or any other path for that matter.

Thanks for a magnificent read and congrats on a well deserved Curie!

Thank you

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shivering story you brought us here, but like in real life don't waste your chances, most of the times you only have one chance to do things right. Life ain't a fairytale! :)

Thank you, very true my friend

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Ouch, no mercy in the end. Guess he should have done something more productive.

Yeah, sitting by a river waiting for a corpse isn't the wisest advice I've ever heard!

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Ha! That was a cool creature.

Very fun read.

Wow, meaningful and well written. It captured my attention from the beginning till the end!

thank you, my friend

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An unexpected ending, but a very honest one.
This is a hard to accept truth. World literature has plenty of stories that do provide a more promissing ending, one that makes readers feel they still can change courses and get things right.
I find this ending more persuasive.

Thank you!

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