I guess it depends on how badly you want to keep the state out of your marriage. If you really have some deep seated fundamental objection to the state being involved, then don't do it. However, one important thing to remember is this will not be last time you face a problem like this. So, if you are just sort of like hey, let's try and keep the state out of our marriage. Then you should probably get married and include the state, so you don't have fight with them the rest of your life.