TWO PUNKS and a PITBULL Wanted My MONEY...

A few months ago during the early evening, I was out for a leisurely stroll to get some fresh chem-trail air into these old lungs of mine. I'd been stagnating at home for a couple of days, gawking at the computer screen, while absorbing electromagnetic pulses from an array of digital devices nearby...

My new neighbors had been noisily attempting to shove an over sized couch through their 'too-small' front door for about three hours. At some point, they had enlisted the aid of about a dozen passerby's to assist with suggestions and muscle. They seemed rather unfettered by the drunk boyfriend crashing to the pavement from the porch roof, beyond momentarily pausing to ask, "what the hell are you doing..?"

So...there I was about a block and a half into my stride, when there appeared two young, burly fellows approaching with a pit-bull. My street smarts signaled potential danger upon witnessing one guy lean towards the other, with a whisper to his ear. The 'whisperer' had a hand up to his mouth in typical fashion, for fear I might be a lip reader I guess...the 'listener' was grinning, with eyes gleefully pointing straight at me.

I guess they saw a frail, helpless old man and easy pickings slowly coming their way. What they failed to see, of course, was the powerful little friend I had tucked into my waistband...

About the same moment the bigger guy leaned over me saying, "give me your money or I'll make my dog 'eat' chu" I sidestepped around him like an aged ninja spouting back, "you're gonna have to take it motherfucker"
They seemed a little befuddled by my response, but it didn't stop the whisperer from leaning a hand in the direction of a pants leg pocket.

In a flash, my trusty old friend had leaped into my hand signaling them to re-think their intended misdeed. My hand then made a decision to point itself in the direction of the guys family jewels...Now, I don't know if you ladies understand that pointing a gun at a guys balls, is more effective than aiming for his chest; but the 'men' certainly do...

My magical shape-shifting, from a frail helpless looking old man, into a virile, dangerous, monster of doom effectively changed the culprits minds...They continued on their way with sporadic eyeballing over each shoulder, and I continued on mine. I had just remembered I needed cat food for my sweet, baby girl waiting at home.

On the corner, a cop was sitting in his parked police van 'diligently' grinning into his upraised iphone for an instagram 'selfie'...I gave him a friendly wave...he beckoned, and smiled at me in return...

Another True Story by @angryman from the depth of insanity. Jan. 23, 2018 steemit.com

Photo Credit: pexels.com