Entry 23
Coach walked in. The locker room fell silent.
'Why did you come to play for this team Joe?'
Joe looks confused. His muscles already aching, his mind unable to give enough attention to the question at hand.
'I'll tell you why you came to play on this team. You came to play on this team because you were lost. You were lost with your time. Your energy. You needed focus, you needed discipline, you needed something to hold on to and be proud of. Something you could invite your family to, to show them the work you put in. Something you could share with your friends.'
'You may not have come into this team and exactly knew what you wanted. But deep deeeeeep down. That is exactly what you needed.'
Coach pauses and paces like a lion across the locker room, taking his calculated time to find the right moment to strike.
'So now gentlemen. We stand at a precipise in our season. The next two quarters of basketball will define our season. But I wanted to ask Joe that question for one simple reason. You are a part of something bigger than yourselves now. Sure we're just a basketball team, but that doesn't mean its any less special that a group of fine young men wouldn't get together to do something, to put in work, to put in sweat and a few tears here and there.'
The locker room has an energy in it now. Each players eyes staring intently towards their coach.
'I want to say that I am so proud of what you have all become. Of the growth you've taken. We won't hang our hats up yet, and I saw that in those first two quarters. I saw the fight. Because there's one thing you need to learn early on in life boys, and that's that fighting is a privilege. Working hard is a privilege. You are lucky to call yourselves brothers, to strive for the same goals. You will go out there, and fight for each other.'
#Freewrite
Every now and again I write for 5 minutes continuously and do not stop until the timer runs out. What you read is a stream of words coming out all at once. No editing, no worrying. I find this creates amazing stories as you just have to let the words take you, rather than force them out. Enjoy.
quite the pep talk :)
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Some really ace dialogue there! One small thing: you changed tense - past first two sentences and then switched to present. It is easily done (I catch myself doing it all the time), but unless it is for effect (like flashbacks, or to illustrate a dream sequence or something) you should stick to one tense during a story, otherwise it jars the reader and pulls them out of the story for a moment.
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Ah thanks I didn't even notice! That is a big note to self next time round.
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It was only the first two lines so wasn't too bad. I've changed tense halfway through a 1000+ word story before. That is a right pain in the arse, trying to put that right! :)
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