FRIDAY'S FREE WRITE

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(Photo taken by me, Samsung Note 9)

I never thought my life would be like this . I was fast, always on the move; today I am stuck in place. I feel like a porcelain doll who gets out twice a week and then needs to be put back up. If I move I hurt. It's just it. All the resting in the hospital is undone after a few stressful moments and some nice ones too.
You see I love to cook! So it a shame that I'm just supposed to stop living and not do a dam thing so I can just sit there and look pretty. It's pretty dam boring. Most people dont know that I only started wearing make up and doing it once I became stationary. I have nothing else to do. Why not right? But you get judged for it, let me tell you. I'm far from perfect and nail biting is the only thing I've perfected in life.
You can only watch so many videos, read, make post before the stress starts to eat at you. Well I'm eating at me... but my life plays out like groundhog day. Every day is the same with just a few different aspects throughout.

(Photo taken by me, Samsung Note 9)

I want adventure, feelings but I'm scared of it all too... my life is a nail biting kinda life. It never ends.
I was going through all my imaging and I found it so upsetting that it says right on the report thiegh muscel injury.... but they didnt fix it... just like the hospitalization before with the traumatic injury to my musculoskeletal system. They didnt fix that either.

So Im in no better position really and that reality hit me today. In other news, I am getting an attorneyfor my SSI case the judge postponedthe hearing until i got counsel. Youd think i would have done that but i was waiting till i had to appeal but i think this may
be the final one so.. gonna do it right!

Basically they are watching me come undone and until I'm dying from it, they wont do a dam thing.

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