Facts about myself that I cherish

in freewrite •  5 years ago 

I am NOT special. Not at all. That's something I've had to make peace with when I got a taste of grown-up life. And yet, I still want to believe that some things about me are not that ordinary. Every time I remember fragments of my past, I feel like I actually got some stories to tell.

Anyway, this is just a list of things I value about myself. Frankly, I just want to feel a tiny bit better about myself than I feel now.

Ready or not, here I go:

  • I started writing an anonymous diary on the Internet when I was 15. After 10 years, I had over 900 pages of thoughts and an honest following of like-minded people. Sadly, the website is not up anymore, but I still have everything on my computer.

  • Back in the day I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and severe alcoholism. After 7 years of endless misery, I got myself out of it. It's been two years since I've conquered my weaknesses. Sort of.

  • I made a some questionable, spontaneous decisions in my life that put me way out of my comfort zone. Like, for example, dropping everything and leaving my country for Cyprus. To work in a bar. As a waiter. This was the hardest, yet most epic and completely crazy years of my life. I did things and saw things you wouldn't believe. It made me so strong. I came to realize what I'm capable of and how tough I can be in extreme situations. That's how I became a warrior.

  • After two years of living a nightlife, I dropped everything again and went for a 1000-mile pilgrimage in Spain. That's where I fell in love with life for the first time. Sadly, that's also where I was betrayed by a loved one.

  • I went from journalist to finance analyst->marketing coordinator->waiter->content creator and some minor jobs in between. I still don't know what I want to do because I get bored very quickly.

  • I learned not to expect anything from love. Even though I am now comfortable with the idea that love is too fragile, I'm pretty sure I've never stopped loving that one person. It's been nearly 10 years now.

But most importantly, I realized that there are no more low points in my life anymore. I've been at the bottom already, more times that I would like to admit. But the future is bright, I'm sure of it. I can feel it in my gut.

Or maybe that's just cryptocurrency fever speaking to me.

One way or another, I intend to make this list way bigger. After all, I am my own man now. And I can't help but dream big.

If it got me here, I will get me anywhere.

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