Finding friends as an introvert...

in friends •  7 years ago 

Finding friends in Greece have not been an easy task, and it is still an ongoing process. Since I do not like to go out to party, nor do I speak the language, it has been even harder to get to know someone.

Recently I have tried to communicate with my fellow colleagues at work, without success. I do not have anything interesting to say, and when I have a complete lack of charisma I end up burning all the topics I can think of in matter of seconds. Now I am at that state where I tell the same jokes over and over with some minor difference. Yes, unfortunately I am that guy! It makes me sad to be conscious about this and still have no strength to change. So instead of bother my colleagues with the same terrible joke I have decided to just keep it shut.

I am jealous of those who can easily go into small talk, especially those who stand around the water tank or in the elevator. When someone even try to greet me I give a short answer and start to look away. Conversation is difficult and awkward for me. One time I walked with someone and we said good bye to each other, but we both were headed to the same elevator, and instead of experiencing that awkward elevator ride I decided to take the stairs instead. We both said good byes and I did not want to experience the awkward silence.

Not long ago I was at this party where I saw this girl who seemed lonely or uncomfortable. After two hours I manage to build up my courage to try talk to her, but after doing the basic introduction I had nothing more to add. I think we looked at each other silently for 10 seconds before I walked backwards slowly. I think I made her night even more uncomfortable. In a way it is kinda funny to laugh about it afterwards.

However as an introvert and shy I have to compliment myself for actually trying and have not yet given completely up. I have heard there is a café in Athen where they have 500 different board games, which could be fun to check out. And tomorrow I am going to a trip to Arachova. Even if I do the sightseeing alone it would be nice to have someone with me.

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What about some more personal talk, why don't you ask your colleagues some general questions , for example.. why your colleagues like or dislike their job, what they find interesting, do they go out, how do they have fun...there are lots of questions that are a great beginning for a conversation.. and the relationship builds gradually. And charisma or beauty and stuff like that have nothing to do with having a relationship with someone. Someone finds someone else pretty, for example, and I don't and vice-versa. The point is in being yourself and interested in people around you, genuinely.

Those examples you provided are the topics I burn up in the beginning, and after that I have little to ask or say.