Why are you following me?

Stop following me. You don't want to go where I'm going. You really don't. I'm just saying, it's a bad idea. I have lots of bad ideas myself, and if you follow me chances are you're going to end up in a bad situation. Oh look, you followed me anyway. Even though I told you not to. You followed me and now you're in a bad situation. I told you not to follow me. Now the sun's going down fast and it's about to get really, really cold. You're a long ways from home. You'll probably die tonight. Birds of prey are already circling overhead. The front end of your Honda CR-V is stuck in the ditch now. Because you tried to drive up past where the plows stop plowing, you dickslapper, that's why. Are you kidding me? That's a snowmobile track! It's not for driving cars on, and now you know why. Why the hell did you follow me in your car? I go where cars can't. You should have stopped following me when I told you to. But you didn't. You followed me. Why did you follow me? Here's the real question: How do I have more followers now, after not writing any posts for 22 days? Is "Not Writing" the secret to getting more followers on Steemit? Did I just make a groundbreaking discovery? Am I a mad scientist? Am I God? Are you people robots?