Relationship: Joint Bank Accounts provide a ledger for your cheat meals

in funny •  7 years ago 

In a relationship a joint bank account is fucked up when you are trying to eat healthy. Especially when you have a wife that is on top of all expenses. Every time I run the card she gets an email. All of my dietary slip ups were getting emailed to her.

So I have to be super sneaky about the dirt I do. If I want ice cream I gotta buy it at the store and dispose of it before I get home. So I go to the hot soup area and get plastic spoons. Gotta get a few though because they snap real easy in that hard ass tub of ice cream. One time I wasn't prepared and had to eat it in the car pooh bear style. Frost bitten fingertips.

But if I want something else that isn't at the grocery store I gotta get a couple dollars cash back each time I go for awhile until I can save up. One time I got desperate and bought one of those frozen cheesecakes in the freezer section. I drove home eating that shit like it was a big ass frozen cookie. But ice cream has always been my weakness. I can't tell you how many times I have eaten it at home and ate more than I wanted her to know about. So then I eat all of it. Go to the store and replace it. Then eat it down to the level she last saw it.

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