“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” - Reba McEntire
A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them and the man immediately downs them one after another.
The bartender says, "Are you ok? I’ve never seen anyone drink like that.”
The man replied, “If you had what I have you would drink like that too.”
The bartender asks, “That’s rough, what do you have?”
The man replies, “About $.50”.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
Pessimist: Oh, this can’t get any worse!
Optimist: Yes, it can!
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” George Carlin
*I am an American novelist, poet, traveler, and crypto-enthusiast. If you’ve enjoyed my work please sign up for my author newsletter at my website. Newsletter subscribers will receive exclusive updates and special offers and your information will never be sold or shared.
Eric Vance Walton - Media
Bill Clinton is out jogging around in some of the seedier areas of Washington D.C. He notices a good looking prostitute. She sees him and calls out, “Fifty dollars!”
He's tempted, but the price is a little high so he calls back, “Five!”
She's disgusted and turns away while Bill continues his jog. A few days later, he finds himself jogging in the same area and as luck would have it, the prostitute is still there. But she won't come down on her price. “Fifty!” she shouts.
Bill answers her, “Five!” No sale.
About a week later, Hillary has decided that she wants to get into shape so she demands to go jogging with Bill. They get to the seedy part of town and the same prostitute is still there. She eyes Bill and Hillary together and yells, “See what you get for five dollars!”
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
😂
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks for the smiles, it's sort of like a glass of warm milk before bed. Way to much angst caused in this world today.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
You're welcome! I totally agree that the world is too serious/angry these days. Once reason I started doing this post is I noticed that people weren't telling jokes anymore. Thanks for your comment!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Good one @ericvancewalton
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Much appreciated!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Please upvote
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
The Sherlock Holmes one is great.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks! That one drew me right in. 😂
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
It's like the best part of a Playboy magazine! Second best part, maybe.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Lol, definitely the 2nd best part. 😉
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Great one. Humor at its best
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
nice post
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Love these as always! muchos gracias
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you, Ruth! I hope you had a good week! The meditation book drops in about a week. So excited!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
yours is very nice
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
So funny! The one about Sherlock makes me laugh every time. The first time I read it, I was thinking way too hard like Watson. Haha!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That joke had me fooled all the way to the punchline too! I'm glad it made you laugh!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hahaha! I got a good giggle out of all of those. Keep them coming.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Glad you liked them! I certainly will! Thanks for the comment!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
humor. just lighten up my day. again thanks! you are a really creative writer.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hello @ericvancewalton ! I'll share/resteem all your posts if you can follow me and resteem too my future posts ,you have a great blog ,thank you and hope we'll help
each other
I've just followed you :)
I wish you have the best posts !
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hi there ,do you want to follow ALL THE BEST NEWS & VARIOUS POSTS on the web ?
Follow me at @braveheart22 and you'll receive my daily & quality posts !
Thank you ,see you later STEEMIANS !
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
the first one make me laugh so good. resteemed
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit