The Facebook Strikes Back!

in funny •  8 years ago 

Facebook is Preparing to Destroy Steemit

facebook

How It All Began

I don't have much time. I think He is on to me. But the message must get out. A few months ago @Dan, @Ned and a handful of clever people created this thing called Steemit. But they were a little too clever. Steemit grew. At first they tried to control it, limiting user signup, pretending accounts were hacked, but Steemit continued to grow. To gain new users who abandoned their Facebook accounts.

Eventually the Great Giant know as Facebook took notice. And He was not happy. And He made plans.

Plan To Destroy Steemit

Many have died to get these plans to me and now I am passing them on to you before it's too late.

gnomes

Oh wait, sorry. That's an old slide from a presentation I gave at the 2012 Underpants Gnomes World Dominion Conference.

Let's see.... ah here it is, Facebook's plan to destroy Steemit:

  1. Create thousands of Steemit accounts called Anti-minnows.
  2. Buy up all the cheap Steem and SBD.
  3. Use the Steem and SBD to create a few Anti-whales and Anti-dolphins.
  4. Begin a massive down voting campaign on Steemit.

The Details (of the Plan (to Destroy Steemit))

1. Create thousands of Steemit accounts called Anti-minnows.

Since one of the easiest ways to create a new account on Steemit is to signup with a Facebook account, Facebook will easily be able to create thousands of new Steemit accounts. These new accounts, or Anti-minnows, as The Plan refers to them will invade Steemit and downvote everything in sight. Causing mass confusion and mayhem.

2. Buy up all the cheap Steem and SBD.

Right now for just over $550,000 you can buy on the various exchanges enough Steem and SBD to power up over 200,000 Steem. Facebook is worth BILLIONS. Spending half a million dollars to enact this plan is nothing to them. It's like maybe the Executive Dining Room will have to server domestic caviar instead of Beluga next month.

3. Use the Steem and SBD to create a few Anti-whales and Anti-dolphins.

With all that Steem, they will be able to power up a couple of Anti-whales and several Anti-dolphins. These super anti-accounts will be able to attack the high earning quality posts that we all love on Steemit. Like the cleavage rich #introduceyourself posts that get so much attention.

4. Begin a massive down voting campaign on Steemit.

Once the massive downvoting begins and users find that all their posts are hidden or reduced to pennies in value, well Cartman said it best...

cartman

It's Up To You Now

Spread the word. Sound the alarms. Get the warning out. I won't be able to contact you again. I know He is coming for me. Good Luck, it's up to you now.

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Thanks for the very creative way you have address what I feel is a very pressing issue soon to face the Steem platform. I'm sure the devs are already working on the solution.

So you think the Terminator designs are almost complete? When does production on the T-800 begin? Wait a minute...this may be creating a bigger problem than it solves.

I am hard at work preparing the steemians to be able to cope with the looming disaster. I am in the process of training them to eat weeds and to chop plants into pieces to make more plants so they will have food later once the Steem runs out because of the downvote bots made by Facebook. I know they'll take me out for what I'm doing, and you too now that you spilled the beans (they seriously hate people spilling the beans, especially pintos), but I hope that my sacrifice will help at least a small group of minnows live on.

Bards will one day sing of your bravery and wisdom. Unless Facebook wins. Then they will only sing praise of The Zucker. Probably at gunpoint. And off key. I don't think you can really sing on key at gunpoint. Besides, all the good Bards will have been shot already, so the ones singing poorly are probably doing the best they can. We shouldn't condemn them for being tone deaf.

Now that's a good one. Very creative and hopely just for funny? I just got started and not ready to stop yet! Dang the Mark Z

More hands to fight the good fight. To the walls, repel the boarders, ready the cannons! We have nothing to fear but fear itself!

What can be done about it?

Prepare! Gather weapons. Store food. Not bagels. Bagels are nice, especially lightly toasted with a little cream cheese. But they don't last very long. Three day old bagels are dreadful. Canned sardines and crackers. Now those will last a long time.

Oh, and probably gather some Steem and Power Up. That would come in handy too.

Eliminate downvoting its being abused anyway by jealous envious bitches, and self righteous steem police who nobody authorize in the first place because there is no set policy just what you feel is right and thats wrong

I agree!

Absolute power corrupts absolutely

Damn I had no idea, then again a man like Mark Zuckerberg at this point is pretty much capable of anything specially with the kind of corporate crownies leading and paving the way for Facebook to CRUSH the competition DAMN YOU ZUCKERBERG! just give it a rest JEEZE LOUIZE those BILLION$ you raped out of the economy and into your fat greedy wallet not enough for you!?

If years of watching action movies has taught me one thing, it's always the rich, powerful guy who tries to take over the world. Well except Tony Stark. But if you got a cool Iron Man suit and a hot girlfriend, who needs anything else.

there is no wat they can stop mined steem cashed out to authors!

With our combined power we will be victorious!

Upvoted all the same, I do share some of your concern.